How to help our daughter with her wierd Marine friend?

We loaned him the money to buy our older truck and he sold his new truck that he was paying payments on. He signed a promissary note and was faithful on the payments until he started spending his money every which way he could. So my husband is going to ask him upfront again when he can start making payments. Our daughter has a very busy schedule with college and work and it just seems like he is bored (probably because of his low funds) and will want to hang out with her. He is ok if everything is going his way it seems. So it’s very hard to say much because she does start to get very defensive and does want to figure things out on her own. I just want to choke the guy sometimes especially when he wants to know why she didn’t text him but now the shoe is on the other foot. Grow up! I hope she sees through this soon before too late. Emotional abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse and he comes from a family that has been through jail time,drugs, multiple marriages and his father is overseas somewhere as a contractor and only comes to the states a month out of the year to avoid paying taxes and he is on his third marriage! So this guy doesn’t know what stablility and commitment is in my book anyways..It’s so confusing…

Why is it hard? Honestly, if it were my kid, I’d want to throw them on a plane, take them far far away and lock them up until they understood why this guy was bad for them. But you cant do that. The best you can do is be there and try and let her see that she’s making a mistake. I dont think you have to love the guy or even think that he is the best thing for her. Just realize that fighting her is probably not the best way to go about it. She has to realize he is wrong for her. And you have to try to get to that in the least direct way possible. Believe me, I understand where you’re coming from. But a confrontive approach hasnt worked for you, so I’d try a different approach…

Thanks for all the advise..I don’t know why it is so hard to accept what I should or should not do. He is suppose to come over for Thanksgiving so we shall see. She has already once told him how she felt and how much she has given up to be with him so I know she has it in her. Plus he has lots of pictures on his face book of her and I would think if it wasn’t for real would a guy have photos up of an x? He called us mom and dad in the past..that’s how close we all were so it’s hard to figure out what is going through his head. He even convinced us to let him have a small dog when he lived with us and guess who is raising the litle guy now. We love the little dog but that’s not the issue..the issue is standing by your commitments…I am going to be very supportive from now on of her and hope that only strengths her faith in herself…

If you start to push, you will push her away. As long as he is not physically harming her, you may just need to stay out of it. You really shouldnt have loaned him money. I’d put it down to a lesson learned and dont expect that money back. Pointing those things out to her is not going to help your cause. She’s in love. Females are stupid when in love. If you must, I’d try a very indirect route. If she brings up college and stuff, just ask her what she sees in her future. Just make it an open question. See how she has figured out living with a guy with no credit and is completely unstable.