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How should I be feeling about my new step-son?

I’ve Only known my step son for six months. Last night was the first time that his mom took him to stay with her. She’s very irresponsible, and trashy.. When my fiance and I dropped him off I had the worst feeling in my stomach. I was crying and I just felt horrible for leaving him there even though he wanted to go.. She just sleeps the whole time he’s there and makes her mom watch him, yet she begs for him to come over with her nasty family and home. I feel so weird that it’s bothering me this much for him to stay over there.. Is this normal?

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Answer #1

I feel the same way about my soon-to-be step-son. I don’t enjoy dropping him off to his mother for many different reasons, and we won custody 3 years ago, and at this point we are going to try for supervised visits because same deal we think she sleeps when she is there and when she isn’t she just leaves him with her mother who is not any better of a person then her…it’s awful feeling and then I can’t sleep.

Answer #2

It is noral because you care about him a lot, and meaby his mom is not the best mom.

But it IS his mom, and no matter what it seems that his mom loves him, is just that she is not in the best conditions, he loves him mom too it looks like. I think that you should be calm, because if your step-son would not like to go he would have said so. But they also need to have bondage or something so your step-son dosen’t feel bad or nothing too.

Answer #3

It is normal as you care about him which is good. You need to let him stay with her when he wants as she is his mother and however irresponsible she is, he most probably loves her and she most probably loves him. Maybe you could encourage her to be a better mother for example you could all go out for dinner. You, your fiance, his son, the mother, and the mothers mother and anybody else involved. You would all be able to talk as adults and the boy would see his family all in a group having a nice time. It will be good for him.

If dinner is too formal, then a movie would be good, or even just a barbecue at your house or lunch one Sunday afternoon. It will be good for all of you to interact on a single level, without you worrying about the boy’s safety.

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