do he love me? why didnt he want to have sex with me

Okay so me and my ex been together for four years. Now am 18 and hes 17 (lied about his age) anyway when we first went together it was going so great. But i messed it up. I talked about his mother being on pcp and his dead sisster…. i really didnt mean to am going threw some emotional issues and at the time i wasnt living with my mother and my mom use to abuse me. Anyway i told him sorry of course and we got back togther but our relationship got worst. When my mother got locked up for beating me he was there. But he use to say all these mean thing to me and huted me even more. One day we was at a hotel and we was aruging and i made him mad because i pretend that i was going to call a guy friend i was onpy doing that to get back at him. So okay that was an example of what happen in the past year and two year. So every time when i see him in public he always talking to me i be trying to ignore him not because i hate him but because we hurt each other and i love him anyway. These past days hes been calling my phone and i havent been replying so one day i got fed up and replyed. He said that he love me i ask him why he said because love is a bitch lol anyway on may the fifth this year i had invited him to a hangout spot and i was super drunk i went to go meet him….. and all of my friends was gone (long story) so as i walk to him and saw hom i was acting a fool because i was drunk. He started to smack ne hi me and everything telling me to wake up. He picked me up for a sec. Then i had to walk and me and him was arguing. Iwe went to to my grandmother house and my grandmother told him and his friend my business like i stole her money and i didnt…. also my grandmotger is mentality ill. Any way i walked out the house, my grandmother house and he walk after me. He was yelling at me and then we went to his friends house because i didnt have no where to go because my grandmother didnt want me there. He started to tell his friend that hes done with me and stuff. But he tunk me in and gave me a kiss on my head and ask me do i hate him i said no he said yes u do then i said u want to have sex with me mind u am drunk and hbe said no thats not why i came to see u. So all that night we did not have sex … why?We just been thre alot w. Each other from the lies cheating and being untruthful