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How to say no without hurting him?

a friend(let’s suppose he’s A) just asked me out, saying he’s in love with me. But I just want to be friends. But I didn’t say no. I just said “erm… ok” when he said he loved me. and he told me to think about it. But how can I say no without hurting his feelings? And another guy( lets suppose he’s T) asked me out like a month ago and I keep him hanging till now but I”m totally in love with him. but I’m not sure if T still likes me or not. So I want to say no to A. But as I was about to say no, he said “I hope the answer isn’t no”. What should I do, please help! Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks.

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Answer #1

You should be honest with A especially if he is your friend. He shouldn’t pressure you into to saying yes nor make you feel guilty about saying no (goos friends don’t act that way). Maybe he will be hurt and need some time away from you but this does not mean you’ll never be friends again.

Answer #2

thanks, but we are never going to be like we were before after saying no. I just want old times back. :( Thanks a lot you guys though. :)

Answer #3

but he’s so sure I’d say yes to him. he told me he’d give me time though. he just doesn’t want no. so should I make him wait till I have feelings for him?

Answer #4

Thanks a lot for your advice, zorbot. But if I turn A down, I’m worried our friend’d end. With T,its ok now. But with A, not yet. :(

Answer #5

You have no other choice but to be honest about your feelings to A. Imagine if you don’t tell him and go out with him and then he’ll get his hopes up and think you might really like him…and then, you’ll have to tell him you were just to chicken to tell him the truth! If he really loves you, he will respect the way you feel. You should also respect his and tell him the truth before you really hurt him. Of course, he will be disappointed and sad but at least he’ll understand the feelings aren’t mutual and will be open to finding someone else who will love him back. As for T, what are you waiting for? You like T, he likes you (I mean it’s only been a month, he should still like you!). Ask him (T) out but clear things up with A first so he doesn’t get the wrong idea!

Answer #6

after you say no, tell him that you would still like to be friends

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