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What do I need to do to make this better?

I need help making this poem sound better. My teacher said think about word choices, line breaks, stanza breaks, and get rid of unnecessary words. I neeed idea’s to make it better, if you havee any pleaseee tell me. Thank you.[[:

Poem: What Is love?

I want to know what it feels like to fall in love. I have seen others who fall in love.

Sitting by a silent phone praying for it to ring. Regular activitys avoided on the hope of love calling. Is that love?

The fighting and arguing, the tears and lies. Working together getting through the good and bad times. Is that love?

You wait for them to realize you’ve been waiting for them all along. But I’ve been invisible to you. Letting time pass, for you to see you’re the one.

Finally he opened my eyes, to make me believe there is such a thing and that’s love.

Please if you have to switch them around, just help me make it better haha.

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Answer #1

True Love?

I want to know what it feels like to fall in love. I have seen others who say they’re in love.

While I sit by the phone praying for it to ring. Staying home alone hoping love’s calling.

Is love fighting, with tears and lies? Or is it Working together through the bad and the better times?

Should we wait for that person to realize what they’ve got? All the while invisible, And questioning all we’re not?

No, I think I realize what love really is and what it’s not. And I do believe I just might have a shot at truly having A little thing like true love.

Answer #2

I thought it was really good except for this stanza: “You wait for them to realize you’ve been waiting for them all along. But I’ve been invisible to you. Letting time pass, for you to see you’re the one.”

that whole stanza is a mess… its out of the rhythm from the rest of the poem… just try reading it aloud…

also… I like the repitition of the phrase “Is that love?” at the end of each stanza, and this one fails to do so..

I would replace that stanza with something else, ending with the phrase “Is that love?” , or otherwise, eliminate that stanza completely.

Answer #3

Ohhh my, I likeee that. [: you’reee good at writting poems.

Answer #4

haaa. I just realized how out of place that one is. well thank you I wrotee it in like 30 mins.

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