This is why I act the way I do

(this is kinda a question then it kinda not people just dont understand what my life is about and I feel I need to say all this this is like a rap about my life thank.) I was born in 6/6/94 I was just a little mix baby alway dream big but never reach them when I was just 2 month old or something around them my dad die of a heartattack leaving me with no person to call father. My grandma and grandpa and mom raise me then my grandpa die to everyone was just dying I use to hang out a lot in the hood with my cousin. I seen so many thing I wanted. But I knew the price. Am not talking about cheap clothes or little candy I wanted power money. Price was so big I let it go. On top all that I had a problem had a speech problem. That didnt help none all it did was build my anger some. Use to alway wear clothes that fit me. Alway try to do good. But as the year went by I lost myself into a world that I couldnt escape. Am 14 now. I dont know who I am. You cant compare me to my old self. Cause am not the same person. Am so heartless. There aint nothing beating inside me. I not even sure I still got feeling. My mom alway try to keep me going in the right path. But as I hit 12 I said fuc it. Time to make my own way. People live life just to live I live life to to keep my life. If I make one slip up am dead.am failing school but am not even dumb. I dont know why am failing. I want to much the price is to great. But I dont care. Am not afraid. That only thing am afraid of is me. Just because am almost 6 foot and only weight 130. Dont mean a punk. Ill pull the trigger in a second. And walk away. Ever time I look in the mirror I think where did I go wrong. I never thought life could be this way. The price was to great. But I took it and I lost a lot. Life is a 3 door way. You choose a door way 3 time. 1 when your a kid. 1 when your a teen. And 1 when your adult. You got the bad door the good door and the middle door. Which one did you choose I dont know am not even sure which 1 I pick. Am at a dead end right now. There a wall with 3 door. I can alway try to and make myself a good life. But I dont think that would be right. So hard life is just to hard. But am not going to do nothing stupid. Ill just live life unstill I take that last breath and close my eyes. Am almost 15. And thinking about dropping out. People call me a failure. But you will see how I turn around. cause am so smart. And am so charming. I got all the girl on me. I cant turn none of them down. That why I got at least 5 of them. Call me a low life call me a failure. Am better then you. The 3 main rule in life is power money and repect. You can gain these anyway you want. I got couple plan on how to gain mine. So call me what ever you want I dont care you dont know what the fuc I been in. Every 5 min a new problem come my way. All I do is stomp on it and keep going my way. Nothing going to stand in my way of getting what I want. Cause fuc all that dream big. Am not dreaming no more am doing it. No matter what

((( thank I just felt like I needed to say all that comment on that or even give me tip on my life anything you want to say is just fine =])))