Why did she stopped replying when I asked her to a professional coffee?

I have a client, where this girl works. She’s really friendly and normal, and nothing specific happened between us. We practically message 4 times a year, I think. One day I went to the client and she happened to be there, we saw eachother after a year and she greeted me enthusiastically. So after a month when I was visiting again, I just messaged her that I’ll be coming again tomorrow and she’ll be there right? She said yeah, with a certain time. I was already planning to go later than the time she mentioned so I didn’t bother replying. So, now after 3 weeks, she just messages me that ‘hey what happened, you could have replied’ I apologized and said how about we go out for a coffee and chitchat some time. This was awkward because we’re really professional. She says, let me figure out a time. Now, it’s 2 days and I haven’t received a response. I sent 2 messages and I did get confirmation that she received them.

Answer #1

Broadly speaking people treat you the way you treat them.

That seems to be perfectly reasonable to me.

Bee Mack: “… She…” [messaged] “… ‘yeah’, with a certain time. I was already planning to go later than the time she mentioned so I didn’t bother replying. …”

….. she probably wondered why you stopped replying, and may have thought: “ I wonder how he would like it if I stopped replying? “

….. she may even have got a confirmation that you received that message, (in which she mentioned a time), and may have been surprised / disappointed when you neither turned up at that time, nor did you message her, to tell her you did not intend to, nor did you message her afterwards, to apologise for not being ‘there’ at that time.

Bee Mack: “… She says, let me figure out a time. …”

….. Well, I guess it must be difficult for her to actually do that, knowing that: IF (unbeknown to her) you already plan to turn up later, then on the basis of past conduct, you will neither message her to tell her so, nor will you message her to apologise afterwards in the event that you do not turn up.

Bee Mack: “… Now, it’s 2 days and I haven’t received a response. I sent 2 messages and I did get confirmation that she received them. “

….. she is probably thinking: “ I wonder how he likes it now that I don’t bother replying when he messages me ? “

Answer #2

She’s probably just doing it to get back at you.

Answer #3

Thanks much Santa,

Answer #4

Thanks much Santa,

Answer #5

Have an update: I met her again this evening at the client’s office, now specifically (as I was thinking to resolve and never have given her much thought earlier) because I thought I had broken the professional barrier by asking her for a coffee, understandably of course and guess what? I asked her why she hasn’t replied in two days, and she says ‘oh I’ve been busy’. I was thinking that’s a lie since I knew she had the time to read the message as I got confirmation. [By the way, I texted on her cellphone before she stopped replying (which is what I think spooked her) in which I said, ‘while you figure out the time, do let me know a place of your preference too, and I think that you may be able to advise me on a thing (professional insight) given your experience etc’ So I make up an excuse in the 2 messages which she didn’t reply to, the excuse was to get her professional insight on the thing.] I think must have broken the professional barrier so I thought of getting to the bottom of this to confirm my suspicion that seeing her out is what made her not reply as compared to the professional location usual chitchat, so Today, after I returned, I messaged her ‘hey great seeing you, if it’s not possible to meet some place, let me know your email so I can get the insight there’. She replies right away with the email address…

What is to be made of this?

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