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My girlfriend was Raped.

ok, my girlfriend was at my house last night, we had a romantic dinner. After our date was over she decided to walk home. I offered to drive her but she said “No its ok”.She wanted to walk home. She lives about 1/2 of a mile from me.

Anyways, she was walking home and someone hiding in a bush attacked her and raped her. Here’s the bad part, she was raped less than 1000 yards from my house. After all this, she gave me a description of the rapist. Her description matched EXACTLY a known rapist in our neighborhood. He has been charged with rape, conspiracy to commit murder, and attempted kidnaping of a minor (shes 14).

She now is going through a deep depression. How can I help her through this?

I’m a devote christian, but I’m filled with so much anger and hatred, how can I stop these sinful thoughts?

I keep thinking “What IF”. I feel that I somehow its my fault for not escorting her. Is it really my fault?

Any advice would be greatly welcomed. I need advice from as many people as possible.

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Answer #1

Its NOT your fault. You learned to never let a friend walk home alone in your neiborhood from this.

What you need to do is convince her to talk to an adult, trust me she will go down until she get help. Rape is HORRIBLE she will have nightmares, and many things will remind her of it. She has been violated, and now she needs to understand it was not her fault at all, there was nothing she could have done. She needs some positive support from an adult, and you are not enough in this case. DO NOT PROMISE you WONT TELL ANYONE!!! if she doesn’t tell anyone you need to, because she really will need more understanding of this situation. I hope you reported this and if you didn’t then you need to. If she has talked to someone and its not helping, look for a person that gives speeches about there experiences, she will connect more with them more so then someone who has no clue what she is feeling. As far as the rapist, he did a bad thing to someone you love, so yah your going to be PO, and thats that. But don’t forget that forgiveness is importune, you have no clue what his life experiences are, or his mental conditions. Consider the fact that he might have had a parent that sexually abused him EVERY DAY, it happens. I am not trying to defend him. I am trying to help you understand him a little bit more, and forgive easier. I could write more but I wont continue on, I hope I have been of some help. Best of wishes towards your girlfriend, and I will pray for her. OH one more thing tell her how beautiful she is everyday, I mean tell her all the time, and let her know how great she is. She need love right now, so don’t be scared to give it(and that does NOT mean trying to get into her pants)

Answer #2

Hun it is not your fault she got raped. I mean when I was dating a guy a couple blocks from my house I used to walk home he offerd a ride id say its okay. Until one night it was 1-3 in the morning. I was walking and some scary fck jumped out I took off running and safly got to my house. And called the cops. She will go through depresstion, I am still having issues I hate being outside at night and I frek out if some thing moves out my window at night. I bought my self a boxer and trainerd her to gaurd me. Im so scared that something will happend. Its best if you just comfort her, And love her up. And about the raping I just want you to no. After this she is going to be scared to get fcked. It sucks!!!

Answer #3

it is not your fault at all but she does need to tell the police so they can put him away and you wud be helping a lot of other girls since he already is a sex offender this time hell be put in jail but in the mean time just talk to her bout it but nt to much and have fun wit her treat her like a princess

Answer #4

I myself have been taken advantage of, and my boyfriend was furious when he found out, but the best thing that you can do is be there for her and avoid talking about it as much as possible. Try taking her out to do something she used to love.

Answer #5

frankietory, I’m a man of morale, I’m waiting till marriage. ^.^

I tell her many times a day how gorgeous she is. And she has pressed charges against him.

I have been searching for a physiotherapist for her to get through this ordeal. I intend to pay for it myself.

Is their a “time frame” I can expect her to begin acting like herself again? I know every woman is different.

Answer #6

in my opinion no person who goes through that trauma will never be them selfs. (sorry) :( you also need to stop blaming your self and just think of the future and wats ahead , tell her you will be there every step of the way. and take one day as it comes its not going to do any good thinking what you could of done its about what you can do now to helpur girlfriend get back to life as normal as possible.

hope this helps P.S its not your falt.

Answer #7

There really is no time frame for her to start acting like herself again, I’m sorry to say, but she might never be the same person you started dating. All I can suggest is do the things that you used to do before this happened and maybe it will help. I really hope you both pull through this. Stay by her side and try to be the best friend she’s ever had. She’s probably really counting on you. All the best and please don’t let a sick person like that get away with what he did.

Answer #8

Well…

I guess you should always do the right thing and forgive him and yourself…and maybe when the time is right you can call people…specific people …to get the messy job done…

Im just saying…lol…just saying..nothing but words…but maybe one day it will make all the difference in the world.

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