Should I leave my family for my fiancee's career?

I’m engaged to a young lady who is in the reserves and was active duty for 2 years away from family. Her father was in the army and her mother was a “military wife” who followed him until retirement. She says she’s very close to them, but didnt see them very much and had even chose her last fiance over them before she got divorced which she is now and thats when we met. She says is a “military” thing and I wouldnt understand which drives me insane. I understand lots of people military or no dont have daily closeness with family and in some ways wouldnt if they could.

This is where the problem comes from. I have my parents and two sisters, one being a twin who live in my same town… its maybe 65,000 people, but an hour away from indianapolis which is a huge million plus population and a top 10 cleanest citys many times in a row and has some of the best schools there (IUPUI is right there). She will be graduating in 2 or 3 years and absolutely wants one job and one job only. FBI. This causes problems because that means she would have to move every few years and that would mean, I would too. Now I make a good 60+ and can easily jump that 10 or so if I wanted by moving to the bigger city. I told her I dont mind her working, I dont mind her in the reserves and the extra time that takes, I dont mind her going to school and being busy, I dont mind her taking a dangerous job (police) or taking more time for school if needed. I dont mind moving an hour away to the bigger city, which I’m so lucky to live close too, for her to start almost any career under the sun there… but I dont want to move out of state and away from my entire family who I see almost daily ( we are very tightnit and very friendly, some of my highschool friends still stop by there weekly! we are just that very friendly, let me make you a bowl of soup type family)

She feels I should not care about my family and move with her to start her FBI career, because she is marrying me, not my family and she is moving from her family (which she has been for years and basically did as soon as she could afford it seems when she was younger).

I dont know what to do!? Am I being selfish in my request for her to bend on this or should I leave my family which I absolutely love and are my best friends so she can do this?

Hopeless

Answer #1

Let her to go to live her stirring life, and let yourself to live your balanced life. You 2 do not fit really to each other…after a time you would be her wife. Would you like to be that?

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