mother-in-law causes major upset between my husband and I

I have issues with my mother-in-law who neglects my other children (two from a previous marriage) and indirectly is trying to control my husband (which he doesn’t see). My husband and I have a child between us and she adores her. She is the only grandchild in their family. Example of indirect control - she phones my husband on his cell phone while at home to let him know that she is going to be in the city that most of her family resides (1.5 hours from us). She explains that she is not going to make it to our house . . . so why do you think she called to tell him? Obviously, she knows he will coming running with our daughter and leave the rest of us hanging for the weekend, so she can enjoy time with HER grandaughter. I need some sound advice. It is really putting a wedge between my husband and I. She is one of the coldest people I’ve ever met and quite honestly my husband exhibits those behaviors. His dad whom she’s been divorced from since my husband was six, and his wife treat our entire family like we’re important. Everyone is acknowledged. His mother on the other hand made it clear to me one day (before we married) that my prior children would never be her grandchildren or my husband’s children. I didn’t grow up putting labels on people and everyone was welcome in my house. I just don’t know how to cope with this anymore.