How can I stop my jealousy and insecurity?

Congrats! Two people in this thread besides myself said that you are “pretty”. So a third time would really blow your ego out of proportion, but yes you are a pretty girl. As for the jealousy, you are a bit young I am assuming and remembering back to high school when the meet market was in full swing I can almost understand a certain amount of jealousy. He is using the word “love”, which in my day was code for “it’s okay for us to have sex, honest”. Jealousy comes from two internal structures that we rarely like to see in ourselves( which is why no one says that jealousy is a good thing). Insecurity or guilt are the two key factors to jealousy. Insecurity is obvious, and sometimes this also comes with a sense of fear that you are being used or that your partner is being less honest than you are which can cause a good amount of emotional pain that is left unexpressed and manifests as jealousy. The other possible factor is a little trickier which is guilt. You may have feelings of cheating or vesting less involvement to the relationship which would in turn cause a fear of losing the stable relationship that you do have or a fear that your partner may also be doing as you are.

Self-esteem issues would make me guess that your problem is the former of the two possibilities. You can’t stop from being hurt, you can only stop from involving yourself as much as you are comfortable with. Also when you define who you are the top things that you describe yourself with should not include your boyfriend or your predisposition toward your relationship(s). You need to live life for your needs first and figure out how your needs are best met. At your age the boys are all “pretty” like the girls, but as you get older they get less pretty or they stay pretty and start realizing they like other pretty boys. Pretty girls however get worshiped as time goes on. High School ends. People change a lot. You are a pretty girl and so you do have an advantage in life that you could choose to use to get your way, or you could choose to ignore this ( not let it bother you) and find your path in life for what you desire to do.

Good Luck

hmmm im on the same boat. i undersatnd :) its just a way of life

yea hun, u are a pretty chick…and if he is with you then he must want to be, being jealous may chase him away, and u dont want that do you?

wow your real pretty. I don’t see why you would put so much effort being insecure.We as females need to do things to make us feel good. I work out alot it makes me feel good about myself. You are just as pretty as all the rest.

I understand how you feel…I have been feeling jealous towards my boyfriend for sometime now,(I have weight issues) but I hope you find an answer soon because 2 days ago my man broke up with me because of my jealousy. we were together for 7 years. I wish I would have asked the same question along time ago.

:( im having the same prob here. driving me insaine. worst bit is im 20wks pregnant. been with my fella for 4 years but had a break for a few months. he is naturally varry flirty and tends to get on better with women, and while we were on out break I ‘saw’ a few guys and he saw a girl that he works with - and still works with her and they give eachother lifts to work. drives my potty and end up in bed at half 8 every night with a headache from stressing over it. she is really pretty and now im just stuck with a baby belly. its like a disease - I want to tell him to never see her again but I dont want to be THAT person. don;t want it to make me a bi*ch. :( x