Which one is better?

Re write

I’ve gone without you for oh so long

Your face has plagued me, I see it every evening in the oceans sea foam floating upon the surface. Your gentle voice beckons to me from across the seas, I hear you whisper in the ocean breeze, Calling to me

I step into the waters The sand between my toes Standing trying to overcome the undertow I let myself fall, I let myself drift upon the ocean surface Not knowing where I’ll go All I know is that I just want you by my side again Some day soon

The theme was bottom of the sea, the topic was gentle voice

Original

Hexadecamel: gentle voice Hexadecamel: ~~ Hexadecamel: ~~ Hexadecamel: ~~ Hexadecamel: your face has plagued me Hexadecamel: I’ve gone without you for oh so long Hexadecamel: I wish to be with you Hexadecamel: to feel your arms’ embrace Hexadecamel: ‘ Hexadecamel: your gentle voice beckons me from across the seas Hexadecamel: I hear you whisper in the ocean wind Hexadecamel: calling to me Hexadecamel: ‘ Hexadecamel: I step into the waters Hexadecamel: the sand between my toes Hexadecamel: standing trying to overcome the undertow Hexadecamel: I let myself fall, Hexadecamel: I let myself drift upon the ocean surface Hexadecamel: not knowing where I’ll go Hexadecamel: all I know is that I just want you by mu side again Hexadecamel: some day soon before I die Hexadecamel: ~~~~`end~~~*~ (to lazy to edit right now)