More Love & Relationships Questions

When is love enough?

Okay…I have been seeing this guy 15 months and were very close…he even got on one knee and proposed and bought me a ring and says he wants to marry me and he even always tries on purpoouse to get me pregnant so I know he is not afraid of getting stuck with me. He says im beautiful and is everything he wants, im his dream girl and love of his life/soul mate and that he cant live or breathe without me, he says when I leave him its like he just dies and and when I leave him he says it makes him so depressed and sick and he cant handle it and he cries and cries and begs me to stay…he always even cries in front of me and everytime I even notion I may leave he gets all paranoid and worries. I love him a lot and to be honest, I want to spend the rest of my life with only him too and im also crazy for him . When we used to be on my space he got mad when a lot of guys flirted with me and he syas he hates when guys in public always stare at me too. I do modeling and I’ve been complimented on my looks a lot not only by him but both by him and also by a lot of guys… he says im beautiful all the time and that im gorgeous ,,,so then why is he always trying to control and critique me? And tell me how to dress and do my hair? Every other guy just flirts with me and obviously has no problem with me and it drives him crazy jelous but still he continues to critique me and make me feel bad!…hes controlling…so the thing I need to ask though is love enough for me to stay with him? Because I dont want to live a lie just because I love him and he loves me because lately he tries to critique me and tell me how to dress and wear my hair and control me and he has not even taken me home to meet his parents of friends in the almost 2 years together…I know hes not married because I know where he lives and have sent him mail there and all his mail is only addressed to him in his car, no ring marks and hes always with me all weekend and spends many nights with me at my house -every weekend were togetehr all night long like till 3 am! ! …and we always spend many nights together and on days we dont, were always on the phone. I dont want to be with someone who is trying to change me or dont appreciate me …everyone says im beautiful and he does too often so why does he try to control and change me now? And I talked to him and he says hes sorry and he is just having a problem with his personal self asteem and he apologised and said he was jelous of me that he thinks im better looking than him and that he just hates when other guys stare at me all the time…,,and this may be true because I noticed ever since we met, hes always trying to compete with me,,,is there such thing as your own boyfriend being jelous of you???…still, hes always trying to critique and control me and I had it! I told him it really was freaking me out and pushing me away and so he apologised and he even gave me a rose and said sorry for that recently but it seems he is still always trying to control me and critique me and tell me how to dress and do my hair and not only am I a model but im a fashion designer too !!! so everyone I know always says that I am not just beautiful but that I also have adorable style everyone always tells me that too,,,and I dont have this problem with anyone else… Every guy I know and every guy I pass on the street always just says im a knock out beauty! And he knows it too! But it hurts me that he takes me for granted and I know he knows he does,,,he admitted he takes me for granted. I am hurt too because why buy me a ring and propose when I havent met your folks? Whats the big secret? He keeps saying that its comming soon and I will meet them soon so we can go over wedding details but it never comes…I love him but I dont want to waist my time..sometiems I think maybe hes not married but lives with someone because im beautiful and theres no other reason not to take me to his mom,,,obviously if its true, she must know,,,all my stuff is always in his car and hes always sleeping over with me at my house …I’ve asked and he says he lives only with his sister and no one else and that theres no one just me and that we are gonna be married and he just continues to try to get me pregnant and says he wants a future with me…im confused…so whats the big deal with his family? And why does he try to control me so much? Should I go or stay? What if I do meet his folks soon like he says and we get married…I already have the ring on..but what if I stay and later it just hurts me more if I have to leave one day? …what should I do? I love him so much and weve been apart before and all we both did was cry and cry and be miserable without eachother and we both had a nervous break down over eachother when I broke it off with him last time. I know he loves me and I see the tears in his eyes,,,I feel bad when I leave him because he cries and I feel like a fool because alli do is miss him and cry and hate myself for leaving him when I do because I dont want to …it hurts too much and everyday he just tells me to never leave him again because he cant handle that again, it was too painful for him too and he cries. He says im his everything. One last thing to mention, he is bipolar,,and since we got back together -aside from the controlling and him trying to take my identity away from me soemtimes …and wondr why I haveent met his family but yet I am wearing his engagement ring and I may I may be pregnant with his kid,,, aside from all that ..he has really changed for the best…I’ve seen a lot more good than before so id hate to blow it now but besides that,,,I ask,,is love enough? I wanna stay because I love him and dont wanna regret leaving a man I adore still but is love enough when secretly I hate how he controls mea and tries to change me and take my identity and how he keeps his family life such a secret…a lot of other guys like me and ask me out but I am always sincere to him and honest ,,,I know he loves me and I love him…but what should I do? Leave or go? Is love alone enough to stay despite all this ? if I go with another guy who calls me then I feel sad inside because all I want is him and he says all he wanst is me too,,,but then on the other hand when im with him, I feel sick inside like im not being true to myself,,,so I ask you,,,is love enough to stay?

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Answer #1

Its mysterious, because like I said he controlling you not to see what hes real life looks like . For example he doesnt wsnt yu to meet his family nor his patents why ??!? Maybe cause he knows that his family and friends are going to tell you madd shitt , but what you gotta doo is yell at him that yu wanna meet his family or you wont marry him and I know its harsh but somehow you gotta see what his real life looks like and somehow his friends. But fun mail me cause im interested in what happensz in your life just please dont get preg !! No more sex until you find out what teal person your in love with!! Id hate for yu to be stuck to this guy when yu realize he isnt what it seems he is

Answer #2

Sounds like my ex boyfriend and ex ex . Truthfully it gets worse cause they controlled me and minipulated me and believe id advise yu leave mamiii its bestt !

Answer #3

Get out. He is a real fruitcake. I guarantee if you stay with him your life will be living hell. Sounds like you could do a lot better with a normal, sane guy.

Answer #4

Just do yourself a favour, leave now!

Answer #5

Omg yeahh I think yur doing good !!!

Answer #6

PS,,,BY THE WAY, HE ASKED ME ONCE IF ID STAY WITH A GUY WHO HIT ME? THOUGHT IT WAS WIERD HE’D ASK OUT OF THE BLUE because HE HAS BEEN WITH ME ALMOST 2 years AND NEVER HIT ME ONCE, INFACT HES THE MOST GENTLEST PERSON I KNOW,,HMMM??? I THINK THERE IS SKELITONS IN HIS CLOSET FER SURE THOUGH,,,WITH HIS FAMILY,,, I LOVE HIM BUT I DONT NEED THE MESS,,,I JUST GOT OUT A MANIC DEPRESSIVE MODE MYSELF BECAUSE MY MOMS REALLY DEPRESSED AND JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL…

Answer #7

YOU GUYS ROCK,,,THANKS FOR YOUR COOL HELP AND REPLYS,,,IM VERY JADDED RIGHT NOW because I ADORE HIM AND HE ADORES ME AND I REALLY WANNA MARRY HIM BUT DEEP INSIDE I KNOW I NEED TO SAY GOODBYE,,I NEED TO,,,I REMIND ME OF THAT SONG BRICK BY BORING BRICK -THE NEW ONE BY PARAMORE WHERE SHE’S LIVING IN THIS FANTASY WORLD,,,I LAUGH because I HEAR THAT CD a lot IN MY CAR…I CRY because I KNOW I WILL MISS HIM AND CRY a lot AND ACCORDING TO HIM HE SAYS HE CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME OR HE WILL CRY TOO BUT YOU GUYS HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR HELP IS HELPING ME HEAL AND PREPARE TO DO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS IMPOSSIBLE… I SAW HIM THE OTHER NIGHT AND HE JUST KEPT LOOKING AT MY FINGER TO MAKE SURE I WAS WEARING HIS ENGAGEMENT RING, I GAVE HIM AN ULLTIMATUM ABOUT MEETING HIS FAMILY AND HE JUST SAID OKAY, HE WILL ARANGE A DINNER FOR US TO ALL MEET IN 2 WEEKS BUT I KNOW INSIDE HE WILL MOST LIKELY FIND ANOTHER EXUSE,TO THE GIRL ABOVE WHO REPLIED MAYBE HIS FAMILY IS JUST GONNA TELL ME MADD SHIT ABOUT HIM AND THATS WHY HES AFRAID OF LETTING ME MEET THEM, I THINK YOUR SUPER SMART AND CAN BE RIGHT,,,THATS A SURE POSSIBILITY because HE ALWAYS SAYS HIS FAMILY ALWAYS FIGHTS WITH HIM,,,ITS A NEVER ENDING BATTLE WITH THEM AND HIM FIGHTING EVERY DAY HE SAYS,,,IT COULD BE THAT –he said once his mom had him admitted because she thought he tried to hit her–he said he didnt but hmm???…he dont strike me as that type, hes so gentle with me always …and ALSO HE SAYS LAST TIME WHEN HE GOT IN HIS BIPOLAR MOODS BEFORE HE GOT HIS MEDS ALL HIS FRIENDS DISOWNED HIM FER SOME REASON,,I NOTICE HES ALWAYS IN FIGHTS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS…HMM…WHATS GOING ON?…I KNOW THERES MORE HES NOT TELLING, MAYBE HE’S EMBARRASED…BUT I ALSO SEE WIERD AND CREEPY THINGS TOO..LIKE HE FIGHTS WITH HIS SISTER HE SAYS LIKE THEY WERE MARRIED OR A COUPLE ABOUT EVERYTHING (HE LIVES WITH HIS SISTER HE CLAIMS)…I CHECKED HIS PUBLIC RECORDS -HES NOT MARRIED BUT HE ACTS WIERD WITH HER LIKE IF HE DONT WASH HER CAR-HE SAYS SHE YELLS AT HIM AND HE HAS TO LEAVE HE SAYS because HE CANT STAND HER AND HE SAYS HE WANTS OUT because SHE MAKES HIM MISERABLE…HE SAYS HE JUST WANTS TO MARRY ME AND HAVE OUR HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER,,,THE OTHER DAY I FOUND MYSTERIOUS MAIL IN HIS CAR, A BILL BUT ADDRESSED TO SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN HIS SISTERS NAME,,HE SAYS IT WAS THE LADY WHO USED TO LIVE THERE AND WHEN HE GOT THE MAIL HE JUST THREW IT IN HIS CAR AND HADNT LOOKED AT IT YET TO THROW IT BACK IN THE MAIL…HEES SOOO WIERD,,,I DONT KNOW WHAT HES LYING ABOUT BUT I KNOW HES LYING,,EITHER ABOUT HIS LIVING ARRANGEMENTS OR THAT HE HAS ISSUES WITH FAMILY MEMBERS,,,I KNOW WHEN WE MET TO HE WAS REAL AFRAID OF THE COPS,,,??? IM REALLY STARTING TO WONDER NOW WHAT HES HIDING…I JUST WANNA KNOW because HES GETTING SO SERIOUS WITH ME AND OUR WEDDING PLANS AND ITS GIVING ME MIGRAINES EVERYDAY ON HIS EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER,,,EVERYONE SAYS TALK TO HIM,,,BUT I HAVE AND I CANT FOR LONG because EVERYTIME I START TO TALK TO HIM HE GETS BAD ANXIETY AND GOES INTO COLD SWEATS,,,HE SAYS HE CANT HANDLE IT WHEN WE TALK HEART OT HEART because HES SOOO AFRAID OF ME LEAVING HIM…IM LIKE GET A GRIP DUDE! SO IM FEELING I CANT VOICE MYSELF OR HE GETS ANXIETY,,,HE DOESNT LIKE TO TALK,,,HE JUST WANTS TO KISS AND BE HAPPY WITH ME HE SAYS BUT THESE THINGS NEED TO BE TALKED ABOUT AND I FEEL SO JADDDED LIKE I HAVE TO JUST TAKE IT,,,BUT YOUR RIGHT, IMNOT GONNA TAKE IT NO MORE… I WILL KEEP THE RING because HE GAVE IT TO ME AND I DESERVE IT! BUT IM GONNA SEE HIM FRIDAY NIGHT because WERE GETTING A SUITE AND THEN IM GONNA NAIL HIM AND MAKE MY MOVE AND NAIL HIM AND HIS MYSTERY WAYS TO THE CORNER AND IF I DONT GET ANY SENSE FROM IT ALL THEN IM LEAVING!!! IM GONE! ITS GONNA HURT LIKE HELL because I LOVE HIM AND I KNOW ITS GONNA KILL HIM TOO AND HE WILL CRY LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES AND THATS HOW HE ALWAYS GETS ME TO STAY,,,BUT NOT THIS TIME,,NOT THIS TIME,,,IF NOTHING MAKES SENSE BY FRIDAY, IM WALKING,,,I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED,,,BUT IM REALLY STARTING TO THINK THAT HE IS AFRAID HIS FAMILY WILL TELL ME STUFF ABOUT HIM,,,WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH HIM??? IS HE SOMEONE HE KNOWS THAT I JUST DONT KNOW HE IS YET???…

Answer #8

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU…I APPRECIATE YOUR ADVICE,,,BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE ISSUE THAT HE IS HIDING HIS FAMILY? IT SEEMS HE’S HIDING SOMETHING BUT WHAT? HES ALWAYS WITH ME ALL NIGHT LONG ON WEEKENDS AND TILL 3 AM a lot MANY TIMES IN THE WEEK AND FRI AND SATURDAYS..AND NO RING MARKS… WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER…BUT WHATS HE HIDING THEN? AND I KNOW HES NOT MARRIED because I LOOKED AT HIS PUBLIC RECORDS,,,NO WIFE BUT THEN WHATS HES HIDING?… I DONT THINK HE’S LIVING WITH NO ONE,,,SO THEN WHY ARE WE GOING ON ALMOST 2 years AND WERE ENGAGED AND STILL I NEVER MEET HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS…HE AVOIDS IT. IS IT POSSIBLE HE’S JUST VERY OVERLY OLD FASHIONED? ,,ITS FREAKIN WIERD because HE WILL MACK DOWN AND KISS ME LIKE CRAZY IN THE CAR BUT HE WONT TOUCH AND FONDLE IN THE CAR,,,HE SAYS ITS SO IMPROPER! AND HES JUST SUCH A GENTLEMEN…BUT WHEN WE GET TO A HOTEL OR MY PLACE HE WILL TOTALLY BE ALL OVER ME AND MAKE LOVE TO ME…BUT IM JUST WONDERING IF HES THAT SHY THAT HE WONT EVEN DO NOTHING BUT KISSING IN THE CAR EVEN WHEN NO ONES AROUND THEN CAN IT BE THAT HES THAT SHY AND OLD FASHIONED WHY HE HASNT TOOK ME HOME TO MEET HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS YET? I ALSO KNOW HES BIPOLAR AND HIS FAMILY DOESNT GET ALONG WITH HIM AS MUCH SO I THOUGHT MAYBE HES EMBARRASED BY THEM BUT THEN AGAIN …I STILL THINK SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG..because HES HAD THE CHANCE TO TAKE ME TO MEET HIS FRIENDS AND HE DITCHES THAT TOO,,,LIKE HES TOTALLY HIDING ME FROM ALL THE PEOPLE HE KNOWS…IM GETTING FUSTRATED because ALL HIS GUY FRIENDS SAY IM HOT FROM ALL THE MODELING PICTURES I HAVE GIVEN HIM FROM MY PORTFOLIO AND ALL THESE OTHER GUYS ALWAYS HIT ON ME AT MY JOB BUT THEN HE ACTS LIKE THIS? THATS WHY IM SAYING I DONT THINK ITS ME,,,I THINK ITS HIM,,,WHAT DOES THIS SOUND LIKE? EVRYONE AND MY MOM SAYS IM LIVING A FANTASY WORLD WITH HIM AND I SHOULD JUST LEARN TO LEAVE AND NOT EVER LOOK BACK EVEN IF HE CRIES AND CRIES…LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING…NOW THAT WE CLEARD UP THE CONTROL THING…PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE ON THIS,,,WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO IF YOU WERE SEEING SOMEONE WHO WAS WITH YOU 15 MONTHS…AND YOUR ALREADY GOING ON YOUR 2ND YEAR TOGETHER AND HE BOUGHT YOU A ENGAGMENT RING AND PROPOSED TO YOU ALREADY AND HE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT MARRAIGE AND KIDS AND A BEAUTIFUL FUTURE WITH YOU AND ON TOP OF THAT HE EVEN ALWAYS TRIES TO GET YOU PREGNANT AND YET HE STILL HASNT TAKEN YOU HOME TO MEET HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS YET AND ALTHOUGH HE KEEPS SAYING HE IS SOON …STILL HE HASNT??? … WOULD YOU BE PATIENT AND BELEIVE HES REALLY GONNA DO IT LIKE HE SAYS AND JUST WAIT AND JUST FIGURE IN TIME YOU WILL MEET THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OR WOULD YOU JUST BAIL AND JUST LEAVE ? EVEN IF YOU REALLY REALLY SUPER DUPER LOVED HIM TO DEATH AND HE LOVED YOU AND YOUR HEART LITERALLY ADORED HIM? WHAT WOULD YOU DO STILL???,,,PLEASE HELP! THE THING IS I KNOW HE LOVES ME because WHEN I GO HE CRIES AND CRIES AND BEGS ME TO STAY AND EVEN GETS SO DEPRESSED OVER ME LEAVING because HE SAYS HE CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME…I SEE THE TEARS ACTUALLY FALLING FROM HIS FACE AND I FEEL BAD,,,AND I REALLY DONT WANNA GO because I LOVE HIM TOO BUT I DONT WANT TO STAY EITHER IF HES GONNA PLAY GAMES ALL OUR LIVES TOGETHER AND I NEVR MEET THEM,,,IS IT NORMAL TO BE ENGAGED TO SOMEONE AND WITH THEM 15 MONTHS AND STILL NOT MEET THE PARENTS OR FRIENDS? I KNOW ITS NOT ME,,ITS HIM,, I JUST KNOW HES HIDING SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME,,,BUT WHAT?…WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER!!! …SO NOTHING MAKES SENSE HERE … WHAT WOULD YOU DO ,,,GO OR STAY ABOUT THE MYSTERIOUS WAYS AFTER SO LONG THAT IM LITERALLY WEARING HIS RING AND STILL I DONT KNOW ANY OF HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS…

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