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Why am I changing?

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I haven't been myself lately, me and my ex have been separated for a couple of months after 2 years. I have lost complete control of my life, my parents are splitting. my mom is upset with me not being able to tell her whats going on. after pledging to myself that I would never smoke, I've smoked weed the past two weekends. im scared of changing but I dont want to admit I need help. what do I do?