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What is wrong with our relationship?

Hi everyone, Sorry if there is poor grammar, but I’m typing on my ipod touch. Anyway, my father and I have a horrible relationship. He was never around as I was growing up, up until about age 12 (I’m 15 now). He was always working on call for a local cable company and sometimes was called in during family vacations, etc.

Now that I am almost 16, everything has changed. If I try to talk to him in a normal tone, he yells at me and says that I always have an attitude with him. If I ask him what he’s doing, he yells at me claiming the same thing. I have no idea how one can have an attitude with normal tone, do you?

The only reason I stay at my house at this point is because of my mother and my little sister. I want to protect them from his anger problems, but I just can’t do it anymore. It has affected my schoolwork (I’m an a student, and I barely passed my history class second semester), my sleep ( I can hear him throw stuff, slamming things, etc), and my mental health ( I’m bi-polar, and I have to manage this without the use of medication, which is very hard.).

At this point, I have given up on getting any closer to him because it is just a waste of my time. However, what can I say to him to make him get the point that he is being a complete jerk towards me? Where do I go from here? I’ve already got half my stuff packed and sitting at the door, so hopefully some good advice will come soon.

Thanks to all!

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Answer #1

I can relate here. My father was never around when I was growing up and now all the sudden he wants to be my dad trying to tell me what to do and trying to be involved in my life. I am 18 now and in no need of a dad anymore.

One night we had a heart to heart and he told me its because he never did have a good relationship with me that he just gets mad and lectures me instead of talking to me.

After that night I guess he forgot what he had said because about the next week he was back to his old ways.

So I’m just going to forget about it and you should do the same. If he doesn’t want to be close it may be because he knows he messed up by not being there. I hate to say it but some people just can’t handle the fact that they messed up. It eats them alive.

Usually people become offensive because they are in the wrong first. He may need anger management.

The best thing I can do Is tell you to stay away from him. Don’t try to get involved. If it gets to the point where its too dangerous to keep your family safe call the cops. Leave with them don’t leave them there. I’m sorry you have to go through this and I wish I could lend a helping hand But I hope this helps a little.

Answer #2

I really think you should get some family counselling or therapy you and your dad need to seek professional help for not only urs and his relationship but also his relationship with your mum and your little sister.

its important to see a professional in this because they will give him techniques in how to manage his anger and in turn you can all work together in bettering your relationship

but of course he has to WANT to change also so you and your family could just try have a long talk about how his anger is affecting you all and then go to getting the help.

good luck ;]

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