What do I do about my passive aggressive mother?

I’m 16. My mom is always complaining about how terrible a person I am and how rude and ungrateful I always am to everyone around us. I get my head bit off anytime I have an opinion she doesn’t share. This among other things is driving me away from my family and making my depression worse, mostly since they don’t notice it. I can’t talk to any of them because they think I’m making stuff up. They don’t listen to anything I have to say. She complains when I make grades that aren’t 95 or above or when I simply forget something, or even when I argue something that I really think she is wrong about. No I’m not talking having in depth discussions, I’m talking she says something, I say I thought it was so and so and she yells that I’m being disrepectful. I’m tired of it. I want to like my mother, I love her so much, but every time I try to talk to her, I want to cry and get away from her. Most of the time these complaints are passive aggressive and to me, thats worse than her just coming out and saying I’m stupid and worthless.

Answer #1

You can love your mother and not like the type of person she is. That is OK and happens all the time. I am 43 and different then most of my family, always have been. They bicker and yell even when they agree with each other. If you don’t agree with them then they feel they need to get louder until you finally do agree because you couldn’t possibly be right, they are. I learned a long time that I don’t need to contribute to that mess. When they start I say things like: Really, I didn’t know that. That is so interesting. I am going to have to look into that. But really in my head I’m thinking they are all nuts! My husband laughs because my family has no idea who I am deep down. It is sad but it is their loss created by their failure to see beyond themselves.

Look inside yourself and you will see a better person then your mother. Build on that and don’t let anyone bring you down. You should look at how your mother behaves and feel sympathy for her. Accept them for what they are but keep a strong hold on yourself. In just a few years you will be moving on into a life where she isn’t an every day factor. Stay strong until then and laugh inside where it counts.

Answer #2

Dear r_c1962 I don’t think its my age. She’s the same way with my 24 year old sister. I do love her so much and like I said I try to understand, but sometimes its just too much. I’m trying to figure out the root of the problem because I honestly don’t think its me or my sister because we were brought up as respectful, well brought up, obedient kids. Thanks for the help. dancerr12

Answer #3

Dear dancerr12,

                        well,I went through your problem and I would like to advise you that you must love your mother by respecting,obeying and keeping patience.No one can care for you more than your mother.Your problems may be due to your adoloscent age or your mom may have some feeling of insecurity.Try to understand the reason and you'll get the answer soon.We'll talk later on.O.K bye...

r_c1962

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