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Wedding worries

My fiancee and his father don’t get along. My fiancee says he was never there for him and feels like his father is more of a father to his step kids than his own (which is true). He never approved of me and thinks my fiancee is only marrying cause we have a child together. He’s not helping us with the wedding in any way. Anyway for that reason we never included his name on the wedding invitations but chose to invite him and his family. But they’re not coming cause they are horrified that my fiancee never included his own father on the invitations. He also went off since we never invited his step kids even though we can’t stand them. We don’t care if they dont come. They’ve never treated us nicely. But I’m curious to know if we were in the wrong. Should we have included his name on the invitation or is he just being a d*ck?

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Answer #1

screw etiquette, a place on a wedding invitation should be reserved for parents who approve and are happy about the wedding. Who wants to receive a wedding invitation knowing a parent disprove. As for step kids (I’m assuming they’re adults as you are adult) if you don’t get along, they’re not blood relatives so you shouldn’t feel the need to invite them. I wouldn’t want people coming to my wedding knowing they disprove/hate me or think that they’re son is marrying me cause we have a child. That would dampen the whole happy day.

Answer #2

If you included his mother’s name as well as your own parent’s names on the invitation, then etiquette requires you include his name as well - regardless of what type of father he was.

This situation could have been avoided if you avoided putting in any of the parent’s names at all, which is becoming quite commonplace these days.

As for his step kids - well, these are your fiance’s stepbrothers/sisters, and as such should have been included on the family guest list.

It’s all formalities, but you should know that you did take the wrong route in terms of etiquette, even though it feels right to do what you prefer.

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