The ex

My boyfriend and I dated for a lil over month. We had been friends for a while before then so we were pretty close and comfortable with each other. I’d sleep over at his place and he’d hold me all night, we’d make out but that was as far as it went. He wouldn’t try anything or ask for anything more. He lives with my best friend and her brother so I spent a couple nights there last weekend. I was supposed to sleep in my friends room in her extra bed but her boyfriend stayed over so I was going to sleep on the couch. My ex kept trying to get me to go to his bed and let him have the couch. The other roommate was in there and I didn’t want to go in there. So I just grabbed my things and got on the floor. I look up and he’s grabbin his blanket and pillow and lays down next to me. We start talkin and playin around. He tickles me, I get up to grab my phone which he has tossed across the room. He grabs me and pulls me back down and holds me. Anyways, we end up cuddlin and sharing a blanket. We get hungry so he gets up to fix food. I get up too. He looks at me and says you look good in a tank top and kisses me. Then turns around with a looking sayin he shouldnt have done that. We sit down and he hugs me and we end up kissin again. He tries not to but can’t stop himself. He finally goes to sleep. I wake him up for work the next morning, he hugs me I ask what it was for, he says just because. He then kisses me I ask what that was for he says because he can. The next night we go with my friend to the movies. My ex pays for my ticket and even buys my fav. candy for me. He said I didn’t need money I had him. I take him to walmart and drop him off. I’m cold so he gives me his jacket. He walks home for 2 hours in the cold with a muscle shirt on. The next night I pick him up from work. My friend says she’s going to head to bed. I say I’m tired. My ex turned to me and asked “You’ll stay up and watch the movie with me right?” with the lil puppy dog eyes and voice. I said yea. We get back to their place I go to change. Apparently I’m takin too long b/c he comes knockin on the door. My friend ask what he wants, he goes I want (my name) He comes in after Im done and has me close my eyes and open my mouth. He fed me chocolate. Anyways we go to watch the movie, he’s sittin on a chair my purse is beside so I go for my purse, he grabs me and hugs me, then pulls me down onto his lap and starts kissin me. After a few minutes, he picks me up and takes me to the couch. He goes and gets food then sits down right beside me. He after a few minutes ends up layin on my lap and stays there for most of the movie. I put my arm on his chest, he grabs it and holds it. After the movie he lays down on his blanket and pillow on the floor, I ask if thats how he is going to sleep, he says no and grabs me and pulls me down beside him. We decide to go get in his bed. (the other guy is gone for the night) We lay down and he gives me all the covers but is still holdin me. I turn toward him and hold him. I tell him I can’t sleep and lay my head on his chest. He ends up kissin me again. So needless to say we make out for a lil bit. Everytime my nose touched his or my lips touched his, he kissed me. We finally get comfy and go to sleep. I have to get up to get a drink , he hollers out where ya going, I tell him and he says ok. I come back and he automatically wraps his arm around me. I go back to sleep. The next mornin my lil sister calls I sit up to talk to her, he starts kissin my neck. The 1st thing he did when he woke up was kiss me. He goes to take a shower and get ready for work. He comes back and lays on his friends bed. He asks if Im comfy. I say yea but it’s better when you are over here. He jumps up and comes over, he lays kinda on me but not puttin his weight on me and kisses me. We lay together for a lil bit longer, then get up and it’s off to work for him. He kisses me again before he gets outta the car. We talked a few days later about it and we agreed it probably shouldn’t have happened. We hug each other and that’s it for a few days. I picked him up from work the other night, chilled at his place for a few, then went to the store, he started walkin to another one, I picked him up and took him to the store. He waited til I got outta the car to get out, then walked by my side into the store. He gets in line to cash his check. I go to get what I came for. I get in the line next to his, he gets done and comes over to talk to me, he says see ya later? and hugs me. Then last night we were textin. I was gettin a lil tipsy. When I get hot and clothes start to come off. He wants to get drunk with me and see how much it takes to get me fully unclothed. He says he still cares for me, likes me and he really does love me. About a week after we broke up I had a huge fight with my father. I called my friend, she told him what was going on and immediately he started textin me trying to calm me down. He and her both are still trying to convince me to move in with them. I have no job now though and don’t want to. He said to not worry about it. So, I guess I’m asking what I should do? I still like him and love him a lot. Just one problem, he doesn’t want to go back out b/c he says he doesn’t trust himself and he will end up hurtin me again. He said sometimes what you want isn’t always best. So he admitted he’d like to get back together.