What does he want us to be?

Okay. This is complicated. My boyfriend told me a little while ago that he really likes me, but that his past relationship he had with a girl messed him up badly, and now he’s realized that he’s not over it and not ready for a relationship. He’s told me that he wants us to be really good friends, he wants me in his life and that there might be a chance for us in the future. He said the best word for whats happening is that we’re on a break. Not really broken up, not really dating. I’m just really confused because he still seems to be acting like we’re going out. He still hugs me, and not like a friend either. He hugs me like when we were dating. And we still text and meet up between our classes, have lunch together, hang out, etc etc. I’m just confused about what he wants. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants. I don’t know what to do! Should I just leave it for now, see how it goes and hope that someday he’ll be able to get over the hurt of his past relationship? Or should I confront him about it, ask him exactly where we stand, where our relationship stands (because I’m confused about that) and what it is he wants? And also, is there any way I can help him get over what happened? Or is it something that he has to do on his own? Ughhh. I still don’t feel like I’ve explained it very well. But I cant really explain it because I’m so confused by it. I’m confused by what he wants and where we stand. Has anyone been through something like this, or have any advice?

Answer #1

Give him time and be there for him as a friend. And after some time has passed and he still hasnt given you a clue about where you guys stand then ask him about it. Sometimes guys need a little push in order to make a decision. Let him know that your there for him as a friend but you do still have a life of you own to live. Oh and thanx for the advice.

Answer #2

Dear m3ll0wy3ll0w, You are very insightful to say this is his problem…it is. He needs to get some counselling. He isn’t handling things very well. We all go through this type of things but most of us move on and get over it…he seems to need some professional help with this. Suggest to him that this could be a real help to him. He has no right to pull you into this situation and unless you are ready to be hurt over and over I think you need a total break from him. He will continue to send mixed signals and this isn’t fair to you. This is a situation were you have to be strong and say…okay when you get help and have dealt with the past then perhaps we can talk. In the mean time you should totally stay away and allow him to heal. You aren’t the right person to be his “good” friend. Time for you to move on. Sue…good luck

Answer #3

your ‘bf’ said that he wants you two to be friends.

do you think the word friends means being total enemies and never speaking to eachother??

i know you’re probably hurt after what’s happened because you wouldn’t bother putting this quiestion up if it wasn’t bothering you and that shows that you still care for his feelings.

But just because you two arent exactly joined at the hip (even though it might seem you are right now) doesn’t mean that you can’t be just ‘friends’

I’m sure if he ignored you and never went near you there would be much bigger problems.

So stop worrying and be gr8ful that you still have him

xxx

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