How can I get my family to respect my religious views?

my family members are devout mormons, while I’m agnostic and don’t feel the need for religion to fulfill my life. My family is constantly pressuring me to immerse myself into mormonism - my older sister is worried that if I don’t believe in god and do what is asked of us in our mortal life, then I won’t be as high up in heaven as the rest of our family (mormons believe there are many levels of heaven and that you can’t visit on any level higher that the one God puts you on, but you can visit on levels lower) and my sister says that it would break her heart if the whole family will be on a higher level than me. she believes that religion is the only depth anyone can have and that without it we are just a shallow being with shallow cares and she fears that I’m shallow. I respect my family’s religious views, but I feel that they don’t respect mine. I want to be true to myself, but I don’t want to hurt my family in the process. what should I do?

Answer #1

sigh

While I’m sure amblessed thinks he’s helping you or something, I can see that you already have your religious views figured out–the problem is trying to get people to respect them and not force their views on you.

This is something I’ve dealt with a lot in my life–but with strangers trying to push their religion onto me. My entire family is agnostic, so I’ve been lucky that they respect my views and support me thinking for myself and questioning what people blindly believe.

You have a couple of options. But it’s not easy, because people who try to get you to follow their beliefs really do feel that they are doing it for your eternal good. You need to get your point across that you can think for yourself.

Try to either write a letter or have a 1-on-1 talk with your family members. Tell them that you understand they are trying to help you, and you may change your beliefs some day, but for now, you are happy with where you stand. Tell them that you will respect them if they respect you and just back off—and if not, you will just become distant and they will lose you in this life AND the next.

I’m a big believer in letters to say things because you can have time to craft the letter and the recipient has time to read it at their leisure, and reflect on it in private. Writing a letter asking for some respect might do the trick.

If not, see if you can find a guidance counselor at your school or some sort of therapist/mediator that can help you guys work out your differences by simply respecting each other’s beliefs.

Good luck.

Answer #2

Okay. So I grew up in the whole mormon family and faced the very same problem and still do. I decided to be true to myself and what I belive in, I mean they get to, why should we have to give up our belifs to make them feel better. I love my family deeply and I’m sure you do too, but if you’re not true to what you belive then what’s the point? What I did was got them together and simply said “I’m only going to say this once… I have my belifs and you have yours I respect yours and I do not feel you do mine. I hope that in the future that will change and I will continue to respect yours. If you cannot respect my belifs then please respect me and have no further discussion on the matter.” Tell them that you belive that if there were a god, or your god, that he wouldn’t separate a family like that, I mean isn’t the what their whole religion is about anyway, family!!! So why if you don’t do certain things is that just ripped away, it doesn’t add up! Anywho, best of luck, it worked for me and we have a better relationship now, but it is still something that occasionaly comes up, but I just stick to what I said in the beginning and it usually subsides.

Answer #3

Hi I’m a mormon too :’(, you can ask them to respect your choice, as you respect their choice. The best thing to do might be to pray about it if you believe in such things. I hope that things work out for you. Good luck.

Answer #4

amblessed’s tends to questions like this by threatening you with eternal damnation. It all goes back to that ‘ignorance & intolerance’ thing.

Anyhoo…

Your sister needs to research the term ‘shallow’ and re-evaluate her opinions. Oh, and I’m not sure, but I think the Mormon God frowns upon on those who pass judgement on others…

Answer #5

Faith or lack thereof has eternal consequences.

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