poem, is it good?

heres a thing I wrote. I don’t know if its a short story or an unrhyming poem. but give your oppinion feel free to say its bad. how can I get better if I dont get the critisism right?!

I lie next to him watching the sun as it sets, his hand in mine. thoughts of our tattered past, speaking of our hopeful future. it’s getting darker now and I look into his eyes, blue as a summers day, and he looks hauntingly into mine as three simple words roll of his lips. my momd tries to comprehend, thinking of the perfect rejection for just another stupid boy falling for my charm. but my heart seems to speack first, and all I can say is I love you too.

Answer #1

Its a poem! some poems are basically short stories! the difference between a short story & a poem is that a poem is usually short & sweet and doesnt go to in depth about characters or nuffin’ e.g instead of it saying; My mum is called audrey & she is 38 years old & loves cooking! went down the stairs. its just ‘My Mum’ went down the stairs!

Answer #2

thanks [=

Answer #3

It does sounds like its telling a story, its cute, I like it :)

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