Parnoid about going out

Hi,

I’ve just turned 24 and thought id get some advice on something that worries me.

Between the age of 16 and 20 I used to go out and party like any normal teen does, I would go out 1-2 nights a week for a good night out with mixed groups of guys/girls.

I slowly grew out of the habbit becuase I found I had better things to spend my money on and slowly pulled my self out of the habbit and slowed down to going out 2-3 times a month when I was around 21.

When I was 22 I was out with a group of friends and at the end of the night I was waiting directly outside the club for a taxi with my girlfriend I was jumped by a group of lads who I recognised from school but didnt recall any reason why they would jump me. Luckily I only got hit a couple times before I ran back into the club with my girlfriend and called the police as there was a bout 15 of them so had no chance of defending myself.

This night hit my confidence and I didnt go out for almost 6 months worrying I may bump into one of them and it didnt feel random as most of them would surely recognise me from school so I got this paranoid thought in my head that it was something personal and if I seen any of them out it would kick off so I kept my head low for a bit.

I started going out again 6 months after this attack but avoided busy clubs and pubs where I new most of the local idots hang out. I was confronted twice in the space of 4 months even though I wasnt going out that much and this further damaged by self confidence.

I have since grown out of going out all together mainly becuase I fear being started on. I tried going out with my mates and sticking in a group so I had people around me incase anything happened again but I think my fear has completely ruined my social life.

Friends I used to go out with still go out and party every chance they get and I prefer a few casual drinks down the pub rather than getting completely off my face and suffering with a hangover.

I guess my main worry is being jumped again. I know fights break out for no reason sometimes but my fear is really damging my social life. I still go out from time to time but only if I am persuaded too by my friends but I can now feel that they dont bother callign anymroe as they know its difficult to get me out and I find it hard to discuss this fear with my friends.

I’d really like to start going out again just for casual drinks without haing to worry about things but I just find it so hard.

Has anyone gone through this and overcome it? Anyone got any advice? Is it normal at 24 to not really want to go out that much? I am trying to save money to buy a house so part of me uses that as an excuse but deep down I know its this fear of being jumped or gettign into an unwanted fight.

Any advice

Thanks for reading.