My failed long distance relationship

I live in south america and i was going out with a childhood friend who lived in england, I’m aged 31 now and she’s aged 27. We managed to live together for about 3 years when we started, and then the next 2 and a half years had a lot of gaps as we kept travelling to and fro to visit each other. We both had different work and study commitments which impeded us from being together, but we stayed loyal and faithful to each other throughout this period, and kept in touch every day over the phone and by email. She was always really, really in love with me and always put far more effort into holding on to our LDR.

Time and distance were causing a bit of a strain on us, and the last time we were together in London, between december 2004 and feb 2005, we were beginning to feel the pressure. I think we were silently blaming each other for allowing the long distance to drag on for so long, so there was a little power struggle going on which was leading to a bit of tension. When I left her to return to south america, we kept arguing over the phone so we suddenly decided to split up. She was hurt and really suffered, and begged me to go back to her. I took some time to think and finally decided that we should, and we even spoke about marriage and fixing a definitive date so that we could finally settle down together for good. I told her to please understand that I hated being apart now, and that every day was becoming a struggle for me, so i asked her not to pressure me so much. But she kept asking for clear signs of love and emotion over the phone which i failed to do.

Anyway, one night in London she went out with some friends of ours, and she got really drunk and a mate of mine was teaching her to dance salsa, and ended up making a move on her. They ended up making out (no intercourse, apparently), and for the first time in almost 6 years, she did what she promised she never would. She imediately told me the next day, and my first response expressed a bit of anger and i was obviously upset, yet i had always warned her that this could happen so i wasn’t too surprised, and especially under those circumstances.

The day after telling me she imediately saw this guy again, ignored my phone calls and ended up telling me that our thing was over and was never meant to be. She says things with him are much better, that he treats her nicely, that he says nice things to her. They have only been a month together and this guy has already told her he loves her, and she has decided to leave her job and will go travelling with him soon !! She will even be coming to my town in december !!

Anyway, this has been a tremendous shock to me, and I find what she’s doing is crazy. On one hand i understand that our relationship was going through a bad patch and the we were tired of being apart, but i can’t believe she seriously doesn’t love me anymore and that her new relationship can be so serious. I’m wondering whether she’s rebelling against me, whether she just needed to feel properly loved and close to someone, whether she actually feels really guilty about what she’s done or whether she’s just confused. More recently we’ve kept in touch by mail and a few phone calls, and she does sometimes express regret and feels bad about how i’m feeling. She insists she doesn’t love me, but she really cares about my current state and doesn’t want me to suffer.

Well, I just keep wondering to myself whether it’s too early for her to know what she really wants, and whether she is just caught in a rebound relationship with a guy she barely even knew before. She will see me later on in the year, and i keep wondering whether she’ll suddenly snap out of this and eventually even come back to me? I don’t think she even realises the implications of coming to see me here, with that guy. I’m sure she will start think about me soon, and my home country will only bring back memories of us, as this is where we started out together.

I’m having trouble taking this split seriously and getting on with things, especially now that i know i will see her within 6 months time.