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How to speed my boyfriend up about marriage?

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 years. I’m in law school, he is in med school 2 hours away. We have an amazing relationship even with our busy lives - we see each other almost every single weekend and are very much in love.

However, I think we are stuck because he doesn’t seem ready for the next step - marriage. He seems to blame his hesitation on the busy lives we lead and the distance between us geographically. I understand we are busy right now, but our lives will always be busy. Our geographic issues will be resolved in a year when I finish law school soon and we can be in the same city. How can I talk to him and show him that our lives still have time for love and marriage?

Any advice on how to get a slow-mover to speed up?

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Answer #1

I think its a bad idea to try and rush someone who doesn’t feel they’re ready into marriage. Marriage is a huge thing, its not something to be taken lightly and both parties should be fully ready with no doubts whatsoever that its what they want to do. If you were to rush him, closer to the wedding he might get a big case of cold feet and he might pull out… not something you want.

I know one couple who have been together for just over 5 years, and have only recently got engaged. She’s wanted to get married for a long time, but he hasn’t quite been ready until now. So, 2.5 years is nothing really… and when you’re both in the same city, I’m sure things will seem a lot clearer to him, and maybe by then he’ll also want to take the next step.

But whatever you do, wait till he’s ready, don’t push him into it!

Answer #2

you’re wanting marriage really quickly after only 2 and a half years?? me and my boyfriend have been together about that long, and he’s just now about ready to get me a promise ring. I know you’re older than me, but I still think that should happen when you are BOTH ready. don’t rush marriage, it’s a huge step. when someone wants it so badly they rush it, it has a huge chance of failure. don’t say it won’t happen to you, because you don’t know that. when he’s ready, he will ask! you will be so happy and surprised…believe me, you won’t regret it. (:

Answer #3

Wait until the year is up when you are living in the same city. You can bring it up then, if he hasn’t already.

Answer #4

why don’t you propose to him?

Answer #5

Remember, it’s not all about you. If you love him so much, you need to respect the fact that he’s not ready for vows. Wouldn’t you rather he proposed because he’s ready to spend the rest of his life with you, rather than him just being pushed into it? If you push too hard, you’re more likely to push him away.

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