How do I get through loss of will to live over missing the office party?

It happened on the 17th dec. I wanted so much to go to the party that I been looking forward to since September. Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it. On our way there, I got called in to work and I had to say no, since I was already 3 hours away. I woulda loved to be able to say yes and then go in to work, giving me direct access to the party. Instead, since then, I spent all my waking moments in misery, even after getting back home.

I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn’t focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I’d be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?

Saturday, I saw on a coworker’s Facebook pictures of the party. My performance at work suffered yesterday as well. Also, I cried on the salesfloor for 15 minutes on top of looking sad most of the time. My supervisor told me if I want my job, I better smile, so I frowned harder. Only 2 ppl gave me any sympathy. Wish my supervisor was one of them.