is this what I want

You should be with someone because you love him, not because you feel guilty.

If he can’t give you the time and space you need, he is being selfish. I know that losing someone you love is really hard, but by not letting you go, he is controlling you.

You are not responsible for his actions - he is the who decides how he lets this affect him, and that is not your problem. People for decades have used the same “if you leave, I’ll kill myself” guilt trip…and few have actually done it.

Don’t let him force you to do his bidding. Figure out what YOU want, and focus on yourself - not how it makes him feel. Once you have that worked out, make it happen and stick to your guns.

If he sits on your porch crying, close the door and go watch a movie - he won’t stay there forever, but he has to know you won’t accept this…he’s not much different than a defiant 4 year old.