I need to bring up my past and I'm scared...

if you think its the right time to tell your mom, then you should tell her. if she takes it the wrong way, tell her that this is the way your feeling and you thought it was time she knew.

I hope this helps.

You’re right it is very tough to tell what you are talking about. something that isn’t her fault, or even theirs..

If it is not either of their fault, I’m not sure what the problem is. However, if that was a misstatement and this involves some sort of sexual assault on you, sit your mother down and talk with her. If it is not, and it is something you know about them that is not harmful to you, or your mother, but you providing the knowledge would be harmful to others, you need to weigh it.

Do you have someone whom you can talk to? A school counselor, school psychologist, school nurse, doctor, priest or pastor to seek advice? If it bothers you this much, you need to discuss this in a little further depth with someone who can give you objective advice.

If it isn’t going to do anything good for others, I’d avoid telling her. If it is something that you need to get off your chest because it is difficult for you to live with, then consider a counselor.

Sometimes, in growing up, there are things in the past that are best left in the past. If they happen to be about relationships between you and those boys, and if the boys were around your same age, then I’d simply chalk it up to the experiences of growing up.

If the boys were much older or adults, then it depends on how much time has lapsed and whether any good can really come from bringing it up with your mother now.

Fun Mail a “sounding board”!

I would assume that you can’t talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don’t want others to know about it in relation to you.

The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone’s advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a “sounding board” and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn’t have any concerns about your privacy.

Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I’d suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don’t contact them by that “Ask me a question” link. That’s public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the “Send me Fun Mail” link on the left side of the page.)

You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the “Send me Fun Mail” link near the top of the Answer under the person’s name.

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,         And maybe lessen the cares in your way;         And also, too, to help you to know,         That in knowing you, many others grow!

I can try to give you advice. if its really that hard, take a breath. chilll out a little, and stop stresssing over it. ask your boyfriend if he were you how he would do it, and explain it.

And if your relationship with your mom isnt quite close, bond with her, and get to know her. Find out what she likes to do, where she likes to eat, etc. And spend time with her.

Then when you feel ready, telll her. You don’t need to give her all the details, just as much as you feel comfortable with sharing.

I’ve been wanting to tell my mom about it for a while… it’s not just because my boyfriend wants me to. although he helped me realize how badly I needed to tell her… she’s my mother and she deserves to know about something like this… but anyway, it’s done… I couldn’t say it to her, but I wrote it down… I have a tendency to write what I can’t say (most of the reason I’m on this site) and so I wrote it all in a letter and gave it to her just before she left… my heart is pounding more than ever now… I still don’t know her reaction because she just took the letter and left… but what’s done is done and there’s no turning back now… I can only hope for the best…

DON’T do it because your boyfriend says to. Only do it if you really think it needs to be done and that your mother needs to be burdened with the knowledge.

If it’s just to get it off your chest, do it with a counselor, minister, etc.

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,         And maybe lessen the cares in your way;         And also, too, to help you to know,         That in knowing you, many others grow!

Ask yourself these 2 questions: What good will I do if I tell ? - It’s in the past, should I let it stay there ?…I wish you the best !!

well my mom is here now… and im really having a hard time with this… it’s not that I just need to tell somebody… I’ve told my boyfriend… and that’s basically the problem… he thinks it’s a really big deal and that I need to tell my mom… this whole thing is coming between us and I just want to tell her and get it over with… it’s not that I had relationships with these guys, who aren’t much older than me, but are older… enough older to be a bit uncomfortable about it… I don’t know how to tell her… I can’t just come out and say it… and I want it to be in private and considering we’re at my dads house with my sister-in-law and my brother will be back any minute from picking up some pizza… it’s not exactly private… this is a lot harder than I thought it would be…

my mom is coming over tonight… im going to try my hardest to tell her…

itz your desicion make the rite choice for yourself.