How to help my girlfriend as her brother committded suicide..?

Ok so my girlfriends brother committed suicide 2 years ago next week. we have been going out for 2.5 years and I was there to help her through everything when it happened. Over the past year things have gotten really difficult. I try so hard to be there for her, talk to her, I try so hard to understand and I love her with all my heart, but I never feel good enough. she is very short tempered with me and tells me that I dont understand… I just feel that no matter what I do I cant do anything right. She doesnt like talking about anything and I try to talk to her about her feelings when I can but recently she has been talking very suicidal and I dont know what to do…

She says she understands why he did it now and that she wishes it was her and that she doesn’t want to be here… shes never happy anymore and is always down :( She used to be so positive and happy all the time and now im scared for her… I dont mind her taking stuff out on me if its going to help her let anger out but I just dont know what to do about it and all I want to do is help her through things…

Has anyone been through anything similar or know what I should do?
She says I don’t understand and that she wishes people would understand how she feels but I try to so much and feel that I understand but I dont know what to do to make it easier for her??

Answer #1

I can’t say I’ve been in the exact same position before, but I do know how much it hurts to lose a loved one. I also understand the feeling that one can have when they feel like no one realizes the extent of their pain, and that no one can quite touch the surface of exactly what it is that they’re going through. I, myself, have been through it. And, much like you, my girlfriend has had to deal with the sadness and rejection every time I had got defensive about things.

For me, I got angry when my girlfriend tried to relate to my experience or when she said I understand how you feel. The experiences weren’t the same and she didn’t understand 100%, so it never quite worked out and I always got frustrated. All I wanted was for someone to listen, without wanting to fix everything. Just to have a shoulder to lean on, you know?

I’m not sure if it’s the same with you and your girlfriend, but if she does talk to you about it, try to stay away from trying to fix it all for her. This won’t magically get easy. Keep her busy. Let her grieve. Support her. Ask her questions. Encourage healthy coping strategies, such as having her write in a private blog about how she’s feeling. If she doesn’t want to talk to you or a family member, try to see if she’d be okay trying grief counseling. It’s hard, but it DOES help a lot.

As for yourself, although it’s hard, try not to think of it as something you’re doing wrong. By trying, you’re doing a lot already. I’m sure your girlfriend appreciates it a lot more than what she shows. Don’t give up on her.

If at any point she’s in immediate danger, call emergency services.

If you need to talk about it more, feel free to Fun Mail me.

Answer #2

yeah, I just gotta say this, you are one sweet boyfriend! maybe tell her something like “I know I don’t know how it feels, and I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling, but I care for you, I really want you to be happy, and I love you.” Something like that. Then, just take her somewhere special to try and make her forget. It’s hard, but it’s so sweet of you to be so supportive! Try somethine new maybe, like take her somewhere she’s never been, but at the same time, don’t make it too obvious that you’re trying to make her feel better. hope this helped! :)

Answer #3

ok one, you need to tell her parents, don’t even think about what she’ll think of it. because she needs professional help. suicide is very hard on someone, and she is not handling it well, and you don’t no what she is actually going thru no offense. but seriously get her help(professionally) if you don’t something bad will come out of it.

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