How do tell a father who is not mine that I look up to him?

I’ve been a foster-dad to 31 kids. I can tell you we don’t hear those words very often, but when we do it is a very special day for us … we remember it the rest of our life! I’ve heard them only a few times (maybe half-dozen), and remember EVERY TIME and in EVERY SITUATION they were spoken to me.

After 15 years, I still have a letter written by a what was then a15-year-old kid who never knew his real father, telling me how much he appreciated me stepping into his life for a couple of years. That old letter is still one of my most-valued possessions. That kid is now 30 years old, and he finally looked me up a year ago. He had just got been released from prison, was scared shitless, living on the street, couldn’t find a job, and felt he needed a “Dad” to talk to. He calls me almost every day since then, and has even started calling me “Dad” (which is okay by me). He is pulling his act together, and working hard to build his character so he’ll never again wind up in prison. Although I’m 2,000 miles away from him and haven’t seen him face-to-face in 15 years, he and I have become best friends – all because he took time to write me such a nice letter 15 years ago.

In addition to my two biological children, I have 3 of my former foster children, and this 30-year-old, who still stay in touch and all call me “Dad.” For me, the fact that a few of them stay in touch, and occasionally remind me how much I meant to them, is the greatest honor of my life!

Many years ago, I made a list of everyone (not counting my immediate family) who I felt had gone “above and beyond” to help me in some way while I was a teenager. All were people I had never personally thanked. It wasn’t a long list; maybe a half-dozen men who had stepped into my life at one time or another, and had made a big difference. Three were already dead, but I telephoned some of the rest of them, emailed others, wrote a letter to one, just telling them they’d never realize without hearing it from me, but they had indeed made a big difference in my life. I don’t know if it helped THEM or not, but I am very proud I thanked them.

Why did I take the time to do that? Because years before, a 15-year-old boy had done it for me, and that single letter has literally changed my outlook on life.

So, take your friend’s boy a gift at Easter, or visit in the home of the father and son. If you’re not comfortable in having that intimate of a conversation face-to-face, then write a letter to that Dad.

Whichever way you choose to communicate your sincere feelings, please do. You’ll never know whether a single letter could change that man’s life for the better.

God bless you.