How do I get my hipacritical mom to be ok with my life?

A lesson you should learn early in life, and it will spare you a lot of agony later on, is that you cant get or make anyone do or be anything. Once you come to accept this, your life will be so much easier. Your mother will approve of what she approves of and disapprove of what she disapproves of no matter what you do. So let it go. You like your music, so continue to like your music. It doesnt matter whether she likes it or not. Has she banned it from the house? No? Then be grateful and let it go. You’re trying to change her the way she’s trying to change you. Why should she be ok with the style? She doesnt like it. Honestly, it probably has nothing to do with the style, but whatever meaning she draws from the style. And I cannot possibly read her mind, but it’s probably along the lines of, I dont know what that culture is going to make my kid do. So she doesnt like it. That’s her issue. She allows you to wear the clothes. Be grateful for that. She could absolutely forbid it. She really has an issue with you straightening your hair? Any particular reason why? As for the dying your hair, well you live under her roof. If that is your biggest problem with your mother, be grateful, and wait till you’re an adult, living on your own, and dye your hair whatever color you want (of course, at that point you’ll realize that in the real world it is really hard to get a job when you dont look professional, but that’s ok, you can learn that in your own time).