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How can I get my boyfriend to work for our relationship?

so.. this coming up weekend is my boyfriends 21st birthday and he’s a really bad partyer on the weekend. we usually fight when he gets extremely drunk and we have a small trust issue. he’s goin out with his friends to a bar and i told him i thought i’d be fine with it as long as he didn’t go to a strip club or do something that would be considered cheating. i’m really scared to let him go cause our relationship already isn’t the best it could be. me and my friends were suppose to go to a club too but i’m not sure that’ll put the worrying off my mind. if he screws up this time i’m gonna be the bigger person and end it but how can i make him see how much it matters so he won’t ruin our relationship over one night… we’ve both went through the cheating thing and many of other bad things not most people in relationships go through but i love him so much and i really don’t want it all to be thrown away.. give me some advice or maybe a past experience you all have had with a similar problem thanks SERAH

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Answer #1

Hi there. If you don’t trust him, you can’t possibly have a healthy relationship with him. If your boyfriends wants to cheat, he will cheat regardless of where he is and whom he’s with. There is nothing you can do about it, so why be paranoid? All you can do in a relationship is contribute 100% of yourself…and your trust. It’s all about taking risks. If you don’t have that, then you really have nothing. In addition, you have to look within yourself to find fulfillment. If he does not treat you with respect and loyalty and you continue to stay with him…you’re being co-dependent on him for your happiness. No man should ever have that kind of control over any woman. Trust me. I’ve lived and learned. It’s easier said than done. You’re 21 though. If you’re in a relationship at 21, this is usually where the problems begin because women and men undergo so many changes between 21-25. The drinking and heavy partying is usually where all the problems begin…unless you party together. Hope this helps.

Answer #2

You don’t have a real relationship if there is no trust. A person can tell you alot. Take a look at his actions and that will tell you exactly how he feels about you. You have to have self esteem and confidence in yourself. If your worried about one night! Its obviously bigger than that. A person can cheat at anytime. If its that rocky you either need to communicate about the situation or yall both need to go your separate ways. I can tell from tha way you sound that your constantly worried about him cheating on you. Love don’t love nobody. You have to love yourself enough to know you deserve tha best! and if he ain’t treating you that way its time to let him go.

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