friends with benifits

is friends with benifits slutty?even if you where friends for over two years?

Answer #1

You just turned 15 years old…Seriously, what do expect to gain from having sex with no strings? It really doesnt matter if you’ve known each other since birth, 2 years doesnt make it any different. The only one who usually benefits from this situation is the guy! Friends just DONT have sex! I guarantee that if you do decide to go through with it, it will ruin the friendship.

Here is something from Psychology Today: Friends with benefits is one-sided, without any investment of attention on his part. The thing about friends with benefits is that, often, only one person gets all the benefits. Among the young, who typically do not yet know how to establish equality or mutuality in relationships, friends with benefits frequently functions to service the physical needs of boys while overlooking the more subtle emotional needs of girls. Women are pretty much wired to form emotional attachments to men they are intimate with. That’s why having friends with benefits can get confusing. You feel attached to him, expect him to feel the same about you and so you want him to demonstrate some caring, certainly by not being overly affectionate with other girls. But he won’t even recognize a relationship. Result: You’re distressed. It’s not the sex that makes friends with benefits a bad bargain for young women; it’s the nature of the deal—lack of equal emotional involvement of the partners. At least you’ll salvage your self-respect if you stop the flow of benefits to him completely. Maybe then he will begin to pay you more attention, maybe not. But you will have learned something important: It’s best for your own soul to reserve sexual intimacy for relationships where there are clear signs of affection both ways. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep going down the same one-way street named disappointment.

Answer #2

And this was the question from the above answer…

“I have been really good friends with a guy, and although we’ve both talked about having a relationship, we’re not ready. I don’t want to remain just “friends with benefits.” He talks to other girls, which bothers me because he acts as if there is nothing between us, and there is. Sometimes I’m really pissy with him on the phone because I see him hug other girls, but I can’t tell him, “I don’t want you to talk to other girls,” because I’m not his girlfriend. What should I do? “

So yes, if you like the guy you are asking for trouble… and that is always a risk that it will happen… in addition you are quite young… however, I dont believe it is slutty, and believe it or not women are allowed to have and enjoy sex without it being that they are being used…

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