Falling in love with someone else...

I am 24 and have been dating my girlfriend for over 5 years now, and care for her greatly. I fear causing her any pain and I love her so much. We recently got engaged as I asked her more out of peer pressure from everyone asking when I was finally going to break down and get married.

We have very little in common. She likes to read romance novels and watch the sci-fi channel. I love to play sports and watch crime shows. etc etc…We spend little time together other than bedtime and a few hours every few days since we both work opposite schedules a lot. I enjoy my time with her and we both laugh and are great friends.

But over the past few months I have met someone else online. I was not looking for someone else, but we just clicked and have so much in common is scares me. The back of my mind tells me that I am content with my current girlfriend and that although I might not be the happiest guy on the planet, I know I could spend the rest of my life with her.

But I cannot get this other woman off my mind…I have fallen in love with her, and deep down inside I want to be with her, to hold her hand as we walk down the street…etc. I find myself more and more everyday getting closer to the step of telling my girlfriend I have fallen for someone else and that I want to take the chance of meeting her.

I feel so guilty about these new feelings. I would never cheat on my girlfriend, but I am truly in love with this other woman and can see myself happier with her forever.

My question lies in this…Should I take a chance and risk to lose everything I have with my current girlfriend? Or should I be happy with what I have and just forget about the love I have created online? I am lost and just need some help in what I should do..

Answer #1

Youre 24, you shouldnt have to know what woman you want for the rest of your life. Take this new chica as a sign that you are not done dating yet. Dont get with her so soon, but maybe its time to re-evaluate how much you want to be in a relationship with ur current girlfriend. DONT get married because others are pressuring you. Youll be more than just unhappy, youll be disrespecting the woman who promised to stand by your side. Be honest to yourself and your girlfriend. Find someone who will make u happy for years to come.

Answer #2

i kno how u feel i was once in the same boat… but i think you should stay with your girlfriend. She loves you and if you think u cud be with her the rest of your life why not? i have been in your position before and the bit on the side never turns out as amazing as you first thought. People, over time, learn to settle for half. I did and i like it a lot better. Yes you may be attracted to other ppl in the future, ur gf may also, she may have BEFORE, but the fact is she values the relationship enough to stay with u. Stick it out and if you are awfully unhappy and feel like running off with the first person you meet DONT GET MARRIED!! If you are content, stay with her. She may not be ur personality double but u will learn to adapt and love her for who she is and that is what love is about. The reason you claimed u clicked with this other woman is because u felt like u wer talking to urself. But would anyone really want to live with someone that you knew like they were you? No becus it wud be boring. Trust me try n make the relationship work. Dont make the mistake i made i was so close to leaving my boyfriend of 2 years for someone else but afterwards i was so glad i didnt. Good luck mate. kimmi xx

Answer #3

mate I am in the same boat I am with my current girlfriend and she wants what I want but sometimes I want to be able to just have fun. I went away for the weekend with my friends to primrose and I met all these girls and one in particular and we just clicked together I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and how happy she makes me feel and I want to take that chance like you deep down but she lives 3 hours away from me, but when you think about what you had at the start of the relationship with your current girlfriend you will see that it was very much the same as the girl you have just met on the internet and a few years you will feel the same but also you may not get the chance of a few years because she may not want that with you as much as you would like. if you are more than happy with you girlfriend stay with her mate ;) thats my advice

Answer #4

I’m in a similar situation to yourself. I have been with my boyf for three years, and i am in love with someone else, that i work with. Bit of a nightmare really. i really don’t want to hurt my fella but can’t bear to be without the other guy, who incidentally feels the same way about me. I’ve been trying to decide what to do for the best and to be honest, i could carry on seeing both of them but someone will inevitably end up getting hurt and i don’t want that to happen. Think we should both take the bull by the horns and finish our unhappy relationships before embarking on new ones. Even if you find you don’t get on with the girl you met online, there will more temptations to come if you are feeling this way now. Good Luck x

Answer #5

please dont dump your girlfriend. you didnt rite?

Answer #6

im on the same boat. g/f for almost 6 years..and recently met someon1 I totally click with on levels me and her never did…although I feel im not in love..and have felt that way for sometime I think im gonan follow my heart this time and not the feeling of sympathy…sympathy is not love and there’s a very fine line between feeling bad and being sympathetic..and being in actual love…loving someone doesnt mean your in love…huge difference..and I think that’s what I’ve come to realize..sad to see 6 years go..but when you think you have the rest of your life ahead of u…it’s a drop in the bucket..it hurts to let someone go but it’ll hurt more staying with them in the future if your not fully content..thats my thing..

Answer #7

I have dated mt boyfreind for 4 years, and I have to say I similiar boat as you are in, he is caring, loves me and I am sure any girl would be happy to have his devotion.

But it depends on your personaility. I am the type you never like to say what if and lives with the consequences.

Just meet up with this other person and if you feelmore than just hormones or the attention and attraction to somthing new, then you know.

But I would spend sometime away from both and find yourself, and be honest about you being unsure.

Nothing worse than making the commitment, never telling her how you feel and then public omitting your mistakes.

So my advice..

Take time out Tell your girlfriend you just not too sure Meet up with this girl and se how it goes. Meet up with your girla and see how it goes. Make a decision based on all sides What you can and cannot live with. Bear the reponsibilties of the choice you make.

and if she relly loves you, she can wait, as she would want you to be happy, and sure not forced and indecisive.

Answer #8

It’s gotta be done

Answer #9

I am in the same situation I was dating a great guy for three years we had our diferences and called it off during the year and a half period we took off I fell in love with another fellow from high school he always wanted to date me but he was a nag we reunited at a party and we have not stopped talking due to his job and where he lives he said he was not ready to settle down last year about september I got back with the first guy this year new years day he proposed to me I accepted because guy 2 was not showing interest I tried to make things work with guy 1 but I couldn’t get guy 2 off my mind I felt like I was cheating on him even though we were never official guy 2 came back to town and I found out he had a baby I was crushed I called off the engagement because I could no longer live that way now I am stuck with no one guy2 and I still talk and we have sex I know that he is not in love with the mother of his child but he wants to do right by them now I am left out I don’t know what to do help!!!

Answer #10

If you feel as if “peer pressure” was the reason you asked this girl to marry you, then you are definately not ready for marriage. While the “nice” thing to do would be to tell you to break it off with this online friend and work on your relationship with your gf… lets be realistic instead. While humans like to believe that we are meant to mate for life, that simply isn’t true or we would not be attracted to other people. Being married simply means you have to control your urge to be with other people (humans like to call this commitment). At 24, you are too young to have to worry about spending the rest of your life with someone. While I realize that you don’t want to hurt your gf, you should also be honest with yourself and at least meet with your onlie friend SEVERAL times before deciding anything. I am NOT saying have sex, but just meet her and see if you can get along in person as well as online. A lot of people online can fake being a certain person or having a certain personality jus to gain attention. If after meeting in person (sex free) several times, you still have strong feelings for your online friend then you should discuss this with your gf. Hurt feelings are inevitable but rather a few hurt feelings now than a doomed marriage later.

Answer #11

follow your heart :)

Answer #12

mate I am in the same boat I am with my current girlfriend and she wants what I want but sometimes I want to be able to just have fun. I went away for the weekend with my friends to primrose and I met all these girls and one in particular and we just clicked together I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and how happy she makes me feel and I want to take that chance like you deep down but she lives 3 hours away from me, but when you think about what you had at the start of the relationship with your current girlfriend you will see that it was very much the same as the girl you have just met on the internet and a few years you will feel the same but also you may not get the chance of a few years because she may not want that with you as much as you would like. if you are more than happy with you girlfriend stay with her mate ;) thats my advice

Answer #13

do you even know this girl if you think that she’s a good person then fine go have sex with her but you could end up loosing both…

Answer #14

I felt like you for a long time. this time almost exactly last year I was with my boyfriend (still am)- then it was two year together - I kissed this guy at a party. I didnt tell anyone but loved the feeling of excitement I got from talkin to him and felt that we had so much in common. it happened again at another party but this time everyone found out and then the truth about last time came out. I was so scared of losing my boyfriend. it was that that told me who I really wanted to be with. stick with your partner I reckon the only thing thats wrong is that its been a while so add some excitement into the relationship go to different restaurants bring home surprises or maybe make the sex life spicier. anything just dont ruin what youve got. (anon. now nearly 18)

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