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Is it a 'break' or really breaking up?

I have been going out with this guy for 4 months, and this week I was starting to get frustrated on many levels. So last night I asked him,’do you have time in your life for me, because I feel like an imposition’. I originally was going to just go with a clean break but I had realized that I never gave him the opportunity to know what was wrong. He works 7 days a week for 12 or more hours a day so the only time we really spent together was at night when he was frustrated and tired. I love him to death, hes my first real boyfriend but I know he cannot change his work schedule with his contract. He set fourth the ‘lets take a break until I work out enough time that you deserve.’ I love the idea of this but I feel like its false hope: his contract isn’t up until next year. We talked for hours just laughing and reminiscing last night, neither of us want it to end but he simply doesn’t have the time to cultivate a strong relationship. What should I do? Should we talk about the terms of taking a break and see if we just need to break-up?

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Answer #1

What does he do for a job because thats way more than 40 hours a weeks and 40 hours is usaly minimum hours a work week? but i would talk to him how you feel. sounds like you guys love each other but its really up to you. but you said hes your first bf maybe you should spread your wings. but then my sister only dated one guy before this one shes going to probably marry and she dated that guy for not even 1 or 2 dates( i think) so idk its reallly up to you and thats guy. All i can say is. Talk to him!

Answer #2

He doesn’t get paid hourly he is running a tobacco store, so sometimes he even has to take his work home with him. The thing that really gets to me is the fact that this is the only reason we are ‘taking a break’, he’s all around an amazing person but I need time with him that doesn’t involve his work and sleeping.

Answer #3

I seriously get what you mean, my bf is working around the clock as a line chef and can work up to 40-50hrs a week depending on demand. With him working nights and me going to school during mornings… our scheduals do clash. It’s all about comprimise however and making the effort to make time and talk. I mean… if he still makes time to call and chat, if he still makes time to text, if he still makes time to have a dinner date, catch a movie on the weekend…. or just anything that gives you hope that it’s not a dying relationship…. I wouldn’t want a break. Instead I’d tell him that you love him and instead of you seeing his job as a seperation of time… you see it as a good trait in the future that you two could share, seeing that he’s a keen and hard working guy :)

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