How can I best remove body hair?

Hey! I have a hairy body. I dont know whether this is the normal thing or if I am really bigfoot… I have coarser hair on my legs and armpits… but the hair is softer but just as dark everywhere… and the trouble areas are my butts, and the midriff… I cannot waz regularly as I cant do it back there myself,… and in a salon wud be expensive… ( can it be done on your own though ? waxing ? I never tried… I am only assuming it wud be difficult to do your butt on your own.. )… and cant afford laser either Shaving is outta question… as I believe it makes the growth coarser and thicker… Bleaching is only an alternative solution as it doesnt remove the hair really… I was operated for some infection and they used a razor to shave my butt cheeks.. which I fear is part of the cause for my problem… I am thinking maybe I can use those hair removing gels/creams… but I heard that those things make your skin go darker… is it true ? I am not going to apply it on the genitals… only the butt cheeks… so I reckon its safe enough… ?