what do you think about this??

Its like the day never really ends until I’ve talked to you, Its like I don’t know which direction to walk, until I see you, Guilty, I might stubble down, and I lost my way, But I’m not sure I can do this without you baby, And all I’m asking, is for you to understand, that I waited all night, and I wanna hear your voice, Cause I cant do anything without you, and Im barley breathing, and I need a reason, Something about that smile i cant seem to leave, And there’s something you do to me, I wish, I wish I knew, You held me so close I heard your heart beat, And I wanted you to be all of me , But I, keep losing, And ill Im asking, is for you to understand, that I waited all night, and I wanna hear your voice, Cause I cant do anything without you, and Im barley breathing, and I need a reason, And I guess second place will have to do, because nobody compares to you, and I don’t know why, cause nothing I ever see is close to what we used to be, and I cant let go, And all Im asking is for you to understand, that I waited all night, and I wanna hear your voice, Cause I cant do anything without you, and Im barley breathing, and I need a reason.(C)

Answer #1

no offense here…

I think it’s not bad, but can use some work(a bit)…seems like you just keep on repeating it over & over… try using some more creativity, add stuff remove stuff…spice it up a bit! Other then that it’s not bad!

Answer #2

its sooooo sweet but keep it breif and dont be so repetitive but other than that good =)

Answer #3

I think it is honest and shows a degree of vulnerability that truly reflects your emotions. It is that vulnerability that often leaves our stomachs hollow during unending nights of wondering why we are alone, yet why something as simple as the way they blink can make all the difference in any one of our days.

I would suggest though that the line: “But I, keep losing,” be the end of it. That is a much better closing I think.

Answer #4

Its repeating because its a song.

Answer #5

Thank you.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Think Physiotherapy

RMT Massage Therapy Clinic in Cloverdale

Advisor

Think Physio & Wellness

Physiothérapie, Bien-être, Soins de santé

Advisor

Rae Wellness

Supplements, Wellness, Health

Advisor

AllerVie Health

Healthcare Services, Allergy and Immunology, Medical Specialists

Advisor

Kratom Spot

Health and Wellness, Alternative Medicine, Herbal Supplements