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Why doesn't anyone make me feel the same?
Right heres the thing, my boyfriend of three years split up with me back in October. We were engaged, living together and planning our future, and the most important thing, he was my best friend, then he just decided he wasn’t happy.
I was absolutly heart broken and I just crumbled, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and I didnt feel like living anymore. But my friends and family were great and helped me get through the worst of it, by keeping me busy. But no matter what I cant stop thinking about him.
He made me believe in love at first site, I mean it. I had got a new job in a golf club and he was a chef and the first time I walked into the kitchen he turned round and smiled at me and from that minuet onwards I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Since he ended it, like I said I crumbled, but my friends and family helped me out loads., and I slowly started to not cry so much, and began eatting and sleeping again. Now I’m trying my hardest to get on with my life, but everything I do in life reminds me of him. I turn on the radio and theres always songs we used to sing together, same with the TV and TV programmes and films. If I even smell someone wearing the after shave hes wears, I feel like im going to die.
It is soo hard to try and get on with my life but I’ve defently learnt how to put a brave face on. Its just guys keep asking me out on dates and I try to go but no one ever makes me feel the way that I felt when I was with him, I was compfy with him and he made me feel alive.
Am I ever going to be able to feel whole again or am I gonna spend the rest of my life alone because I cant get close to anyone else.
Thank you for your advise, I wish I could tell myself he was not worth it! But he was, we had the most amazing relationship, maybe thats the thing, maybe it was too good!
sometimes things are too good to be true, I know when im in love I just focus on that and nothing else, and then my whole world falls apart. If my current boyfriend split up with me I would be heart broken and end up like I was. I loved my ex, and I don ‘t love him now, but I loved what we used to have, if that makes sense… I don’t regret it, but I managed to move on and I hope you do too x
I really feel for you, I know how it feels, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me nearly 2 years ago.
At first I had endless, sleepless nights, I lost 2 stone in weight, everything I did made me feel sick. For me I quit everything, I quit my job, I locked myself away in my room and for months I was madly depressed.
My parents tried to help, but I threw it back in their faces… I turned into a right b*tch and eneded up losing loads of friends because of my behaviour. But the thing was he hut me so much I wanted to die and didn’t care about anyone else, I found out he cheated on me and slept with prostitutes, I felt sick. He broke up with me because he just felt he couldn’t commit. I had teddy’s in my room which he bought me over those 2 1/2 years, he was the most special person in my life, and my heart had be ripped out. It happened so suddenly I jut couldn’t take it or adjust to it.
After 3 months I just hated myself, I was in a mess, I looked terrible, I was so thin. An old friend who moved away had come home to see his parents, the same thing had happened to him with his ex. He helped me through everything, he told me about listening to my family, because they did want to help me. After a few weeks with his help I managed to get back on track with my parents and they were just great.
My mum came to all my doctors appointments with me… I was put on anti depresants for a few months, and they did help me. I started doing walking, I live in the country, so me and my mum would go out for walks, she helped me through everything, I was kept busy, and within a few months got off tablets, I began eating properly and my regained weight, and became healthy.
I started working again and met some great people. I met this one guy who seemed so down to earth and we became great friends. After another 6 months I was totally happy again, and me and this guy from work began dating… at first it was weird, and it felt wrong… but I ignored it, after 2 months things were great and it all went from there… I’m still with him and we have been together for a year and a half now, and I couldn’t be more happy.
The thing is, I do worry, worry if he cheats on me or if he suddenly dumps me… but that’s love, it’s a risk… if you love you will often get hurt… and sometimes we love many people before we meet the right person.
You WILL get better, you are many steps ahead of what I was, just continue what you’re doing, it may be too early to meet new guys… but with the help and support of your family you are well on your way to recovery.
I hope you feel better soon, and keep telling yourself he was not worth it, you were too good for him… it just takes time.
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