How can I convince my mother that her second hand smoke is affecting me?

Over the past month (and in the past too, its just been really bad the last month) I’ve been having an extremely hard time breathing, especially when I go for my bike ride every day. So my mom took me to the doctors, and we found out that basically all my breathing problems are caused by my mom smoking and me being around it basically all 16 years of my life. Now, the only way to fully fix this is obviously for her to quit, but I know she won’t. My health is very important to me and I really want to get better so I can do things without constantly getting out of breath. How do I let my mom see how important it is for her to quit. She’s slowly killing me and herself. Not only that, I have no control over it, so unless she quits, I have to deal with it until I’m able to move out. Please, I really need help on how to approach her. I want to get better, and I’m only getting worse as the days go by.

Answer #1

You have rights and so does your MOM. Its her house too, and at your age, why should she go outside to smoke? (its different if little children are in the house- but you are bigger and you can choose not to be around her if you dont like the smoking) I smoke and my partner doesnt, I have my own room, my office, where I smoke. I dont smoke in any communal areas, I don’t wander thru the house to the loo, with a cigarette in my hand, and I make the effort not to go to bed stinking of fags. Why not suggest a comprimise, that she smokes less cigarettes whilst you are in the living room, like one every 2 hours, and that she smokes any other ones someplace else- in her bedroom or bathroom. Or put up a big no-smoking sign on your door and stay in your room. Refuse to eat with your mom and insist that you are allowed to eat in a smoke free envirnoment.

Answer #2

Be honest with her. Take her to a coffee shop, or someplace public if you are worried about her getting angry with you. Sit down with her and just tell her the truth in a calm manner. If she is unwilling to quit, or if she can’t, ask her to smoke only outside. If you are having trouble speaking to her, bring her to the doctor with you and have the doctor talk to her about it.

Answer #3

I think it’s pretty sad that she didn’t put in an effort to quit when she found out that her addiction was causing her child pain. I used to smoke until I found out I was pregnant. I loved to smoke and I never thougth I would want to quit until it started to jepordize my child’s health. You really need to talk to her about this. Dawn69 is right, the least she could do is not smoke in the house or around you. Good luck talking to her, I hope everything works out for you.

Answer #4

I just want to take a minute to congratulate all of you for making this one of the very very few Q-A sets where everything is written legibly, correctly and maturely, with all the proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation. The question is both asked and answered in a sensible manner, to the point and helpful… unlike the scattered and repetitive scribblings the majority post. It’s good to know that some people can still communicate well.

Answer #5

Thanks for your help, unfortunately I have a really stubborn mother. So I think I’ll be dealing with it until I’m out of the house. But who knows, I’ll have a really serious talk with her and we’ll see what happens. Thanks again.

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