Does this one-line summary sound good?

I’m doing a school project and for homework we have to think of an interesting log line. Would you read the story after seeing this log line? “A young boy who has been feared and despised most of his life wants to discover why by unearthing his blood-filled but forgotten past.” Any tips on how I can improve it?

Answer #1

Oh yes! I really do think that I WOULD read that story.

“… Any tips on how I can improve it? “

I think you should add a bit of punctuation: to clarify your meaning and maybe add a little spine-chilling gravitas.

“… A young boy, who has been feared and despised most of his life, wants to discover why: by unearthing his blood-filled, but forgotten, past. …”

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