I wrote a poem...what do you think?

Desperate for the real The truth of all the lies Wanting just to feel To stop the constant cries

I scar my arm so deep With such a sharp idea Left silently to weep For showing is my fear

I deny that I am hurting From a pain to hard to bare I feel the world around me Its vastness does do scare

I close my eyes slowly And drift to another place I can’t be around those near me My fears I can not face

I start to think of all That I could do to die I think of my downfall My head I start to lye

Where’s the silver lining To this cloud so black I can’t find the meaning For my life is off a track

All is any’er-do-well There’s nothing to be done Flowers turn to hell My life is a re-run

I take another drink Of what shall bring me to rest Some thoughts I start to think This is for the best

I sought to find A final numb Peace in mind I begin to hum

For I am calm At last, at last I trace my palm Fade fast, fast

Answer #1

deep! Best original poem I’ve read :)

Answer #2

its good and really fluid it could be a song

Answer #3

I really like your poem it sounds great!!!

Answer #4

Wow. It’s amazing. I’m sure, me included, can relate to this at some point in their lives :) good job x

Answer #5

That is intense… it is very good although I hope that isnt how you really feel!

Answer #6

that was awsome and well written!!!

Answer #7

Thought that was excellent :)

Answer #8

this is good it is really well written nice work :]

Answer #9

wow. thanks guys.I didn’t think it was that good cause I just wrote it about howi feel but thanks. And thank you ml31093 for telling me my mistakes! haha I didn’t even notice thanks :) itssupposed to be any ‘er do well but everytime I typed it it came up any’er do well haha I don’t know why

Answer #10

whoa… that was really amazing!

Answer #11
  • its supposed to be and e ‘ e are but I can’t type it as a full word cause it keeps changing it on me
Answer #12

*ugh screw it is isn’t working hahah its not the word that shows up hahah

Answer #13

thats amazing. you should pursue poetry as a career.

Answer #14

Wow…this is REALLY good. kind of chilling how deep and raw the pain is. I hope this isn’t what you really feel… There are a few gramatical errors like “my head I start to lye” that should be LIE, and no hyphen in rerun, and this phrase confuses me; “All is any’er-do-well” (please reply with an explination)… Hope I helped, please reply.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Great-Essays.com

Academic Writing Services, Custom Paper Writing, Online Essay Services

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

KitabDeal.com

Books, Education, Personal Development

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community