Abusive relationships and family?

I want people's opinions on the 'for better or worse' clause in a marriage vow when it comes to physically abusive relationships. Can they change, or is it better to leave? Should you stay to keep your family intact?

I would try an make it work. I would try counseling. especially if I had kids I would try my hardest for the relationship to change so the kids had both parents there.

never stay in it if your relationship becomes physically abusive. it may start out as little things...and the abuse could get worse and they may not change. if it were me, I wouldnt want to risk my life

Does your opinion change with this statistic

40-70% of murders of women are committed by their husband or boyfriend
http://en.wikipedia....

I've left boyfriends before for being violent without much deliberation at all, but a husband- I look at this as a much more serious matter. I mean, here is a person you are supposed to have chosen over all others to spend the rest of your life with, and it's not something that should be taken lightly. When you take the vow 'for better or worse', you mean it with the intention that no matter how bad things may get, you'll be there for them. However, if it's a matter of safety, and things can't be improved, you owe it to yourself to get out.

In an incident where this happens, both people I the marriage need to assess what happened, identify the underlying problem, and seek help for it if the relationship is to go ahead. Often I've seen abusive relationships where the victim has said 'I love him/her, but I just don't trust him/her not to hurt me again.' Often, trust is lost in this situation, and if the offending party is unable to gain the honest trust and confidence of the victim again, the relationship is heading to the end.

All in all, I think it's a matter of both parties wanting the marriage to work, and what steps they are both prepared to take to make it work. It's also a matter of recognising when a relationship is not ale to be salvaged, and being able to leave.

If they are being physically abused - that is evil - leave - if the situation changes, which is possible, re-evaluate.

if it's verbal abuse... I'm willing to solve it out as best I can by seeing a counselor or a family therepist... just to keep the family as a whole... but if it gets abusive... I'm out of there and not willing to have my children (if I have any) have their lives scared deeply by seeing me getting beaten up or having themselves get abused by my husband. I've been in an abussive relationship before... and I've went all the way to the end, up until my friends knew about it, for me to seek help and break up with that ex of mine!